30 Grains of Powder
by Extraho
Summary: Dean didnt recognise Lisas now teenage son and a drunken tumble has serious consequences.Can Ben handle having a baby? Will Dean overcome his fear and step up or leave Ben heartbroken, in danger of demons and alone?Will Lisa ever forgive them? slash mpreg
1. Yanks in the UK

**TITLE**; Yanks in the UK  
><strong>SERIES<strong>; 30 Grains of Powder  
>FANDOM; Supernatural<br>CHARACTERS; Dean W. / Ben Braeden

**RATING** NC/17

WIP OR COMPLETE; Complete

**WARNINGS**. Slash

DISCLAIMER; Not mine, just playing

Summary; Dean and Sam is in England for a hunt. Dean is drunk off his arse and wakes up in bed next to a teen that looks too familiar for his comfort. slash angst

moral disclaimer; Ben is 16, the age of consent in Britain. Since Dean is in his mid 30s, Ben needed to be older for me to not be squicky about writing this, but f*ing with the timeline too much kinda ruins the point of the story. So there.

'Don't Leave Me' by RunawayBaby gave me the idea for this story. Read it, cause it's heartbreaking. Frankly, I had never even thought of the pairing, so thank you for being inspirational!

This is the first installment of a series of oneshots called **'30 Grains of Powder'**- because the Winchester Rifle holds 30'30, and the text installment will be put in here as a second chapter- it's easier to keep track of things that way!

*._.*._.*._.*._.*._.*._.*._.*._.*._.*._.*

Dean woke up with a jack hammer going off inside of his head. A stray thought went to that that motels in England were not better than the ones in the US. It wasn't just his head, but everything that was throbbing in steady pace with his heart. Even his dick was sore.

_Tanned flesh slid under his hands as he thrust deeply into the strangling heat of the body beneath him._

Dean groaned. Getting laid was a good thing. The bad thing was that the lay in question was at the moment halfway beneath him. Dean lay plastered against the back of a sweet smelling youth. His nose was buried in a mane of dark hair. Damn, he was getting hard again.

_"Dean-" the youth gasped in ecstasy._

Dean smirked as the memories returned to him. He'd made an impression, that was for sure. He had no idea how he could be getting hard again, with how shit he was feeling right now. Frankly, he had no idea how he'd stayed hard long enough to have this beauty screaming at all. He ran a hand over his partner in crime's chest. Dean paused and did it again. He bit his lip. There was no mistaken; either this was a chick with nothing to offer, or it was a dude. He mentally cursed at himself, but otherwise was not too bothered. With the amounts he drank, it was bound to happen sometime.

_Dean grasped the dick in front of his face and gave it a long swipe of his tongue as he thrust his fingers deep. The young man reared off the bed as his fingers roughly stabbed a firm spot. Dean pressed his hand deeper._

Ben woke to find rough hands sliding over his chest, and down to his privates. The world felt... strangely calm. He had expected to wake up alone. He'd expected having to nurse his hangover and his no-longer-virgin ass all by his lonesome. But by the quickly hardening length he felt growing along his crease, it seemed it would have to accept some more rough treatment.

_He nearly screamed as he felt Dean's knuckles press part his tense ring. Four fingers, to the upper knuckle. "C'mon, you can take it," he heard Dean from between his legs. He felt, rather than saw Dean fold up his thumb and force his entire hand into is untried body._

Dean closed his eyes and bit back a moan as he remembered fisting the boy. Good God he had to be black and blue inside...

_His eyes rolled back into this scull at the pressure; that painful, but oh so delicious pressure. It moved slowly in circular motions, his knuckles sliding over his prostate, forcing his entire body to tense and arch like a bowstring. So, much , too much, but not enough. "More, Dean more" he panted, fists clenching the sheets._

Dean opened his eyes to see the dark haired, probably teenage, boy flushed and pushing against his hard dick. Dean's hips hitched in reflex, but his mind was busy oppressing the half of the face he could see; a pretty button nose, dark lashes and a beauty spot on his cheek. Ben? It could not be Lisa's boy. It couldn't be. He should be off to college.

_Dean lay on his back, groaning in pleasure as the dark haired youth set a comfortable rhythm. It takes practice to get it right, but the boy was doing rather well as Deans hands were steady on his ships, guiding him._

"Oh my god..." Dean says to himself. He pushed off of the boy that used to be his stepson and sits on the edge of the bed with his face in his hands. He feels the panic rise and his chest tighten.

_"Harder, harder- please..." Ben mewled, his legs folded up to his chest and wrapped around Dean's neck. And Dean delivers._

"This can't be happening," he said and stood up. But the stiffness in his own muscles told him it had indeed.

_"D-Dean, mo- , ahmahghaad-" Bed stuttered as the assault on his insides continued relentlessly._

Ben looked at Dean, confused. He knew that Dean had been drunk, but that drunk? "What?" he asks softly. He looks at the long scratches on Dean's back.

_"Oh that's so good baby," Dean praised, "Take it like that-"_

Dean flinches as he hears the familiar, but at the same time, unfamiliar voice. "Fuck, fuck, fuckfuckfuck- Lisa is going to murder me...-" he turns to Ben, "What are you doing here?" he yells.

Ben jumps at the sudden aggression, "I..I..." he trailed off.

"In England," Dean specified as he wrapped a towel around his waist.

"C-college," Ben stuttered, feeling the tears starting to burn.

"And you mom let you move to the other side of the planet?"

"I got a scholarship," he whispered.

Dean paused as he saw Ben was about to cry. "Oh my - fuck Ben I'm sorry -" he muttered and ran a hand through his hair, "I hurt you, didn't I? Fuck," he swore.

_"Ah-ah, ah, ah, aaah-" Ben cried out softly at every time he twisted his hand inside him. He'd pressed in to the middle of his forearm and was busy feeling about to pay much attention to that Ben was shaking and sweating under the constant force on this sweet spot._

Dean looked down at his arm; that was no small arm. "Fuck," he swore again, "Are you okay?" he asked worried sick.

Ben tried to sit up, but his entrance was screaming at him and his stomach hurt. He winched, "I'm fine," he said, just as quiet as before. He didn't trust his voice not to break. Was he that bad? Or did he just not like him? He'd left him before, so...

"No you're not-" Dean rushed to his side and laid a hand on his stomach, "Your mom is gonna kill me..." he said again.

"We don't have to tell," Ben said, biting his swollen lower lip.

Dean truly took in the sight of the boy in front of him. His skin was flushed and dewy, his lips were red, swollen and bruised, he had finger shaped marks all over him, and his shoulders were littered with bite marks. "I'm so sorry," Dean whispered. Inside, he was freaking out. He was freaking out real bad. He wanted to run far, far away. But this was Ben. His Ben. Fuck. What had he done?

Ben wrapped his arms around Dean's neck and buried his face against his chest.

_Ben wrapped his arms around his neck as he rode him slowly, panting sweetly, puffing small breaths of air against Dean's broad shoulders._

Dean shuddered. God, Ben could not have wanted this. He was crying for god's sake!

"Please don't leave again," Ben pleaded, "I'll be better, please just don't leave..."

Dean felt ice spread in his gut. "Ben... no...no no no no..." he chanted and held the boy close to his chest. He tried to quell his own panic as he tried to soothe the boy. Be better? Better at what? He got his answer quickly as he felt Ben's wet cheek against his neck, and even wetter kisses "No Ben, don't-" but he is paralysed as Ben kisses him and crawls into his lap.

_The soft slide of skin against skin, hands running down his back and the gentle rocking made Ben purr. Tiredly, he nuzzled into the older man's neck, moving languidly._

Ben moved quickly, despite his aching body. He pushes the towel up and out of the way and sank down on the stiff shaft. "Ah-" he whimpered, gritting his teeth at the sudden invasion. He was slick and open from earlier, but also swollen and very tender.

Dean's eyes rolled back in his scull as his dick was squeezed bloodless in the hottest and tightest anything he had ever felt. But shit- it was Ben. "Ben," he gasped. He clenched his eyes shut as Ben arched his back, seemingly bearing down, tightening his core and his channel muscles all at the same time to turn Dean into a pile of goo.

_"That's it," Dean growled, "Fuck yourself on me."_

"Dean," Ben whispered, "I need you-"

"This - this is so wrong," Dean muttered, a hand over his face as Ben alternated between soft and silky, or tight and slightly ridged. "You don't have to do this Benji." He'd rather he wasn't doing it at all... ever.

Dean looked around and realised he wasn't in a motel; he was in a college dorm. Fuck... God, he couldn't be legal even... He couldn't think when Ben was doing this to him.

"Yes I do," Ben said. Dean was perfect; the perfect father, the perfect lover the perfect man. He would not do this for anyone else.

Dean couldn't believe what was happening. The little boy he'd been a father to for a short while, the boy he'd loved as his own... He was afraid that if he even moved he would hurt him. A tear of frustration slipped down Dean's cheek. What would Lisa think of him? He bit his lip and cautiously let his hands rest on Ben's soft hips as he moved. "Ben..." He tightened his grip on the already bruised hips, forcing Ben to still.

Ben mewed softly as Dean's hands forced him further down on his cock. "Don't leave me," he whimpered, "Don't leave me alone."

And Dean shattered into a thousand pieces.

When Dean left the college campus later that day, he felt disgusted by himself. By the lust and by his own... lack of self control. But also needing that self control to start with.

He'd tucked Ben into bed like he always had, wrapping the duvet around him just the way he liked and given his a hot water bottle for his tender stomach. He'd kissed his forehead and told him that angels were watching over him. All the while thinking he was going to hell. Again.

His hands were shaking as he pressed the exit button on the door to release the locks on the campus gates. If he ever saw Lisa again, he wasn't sure he could live with himself.

A/N; so what do you think?


	2. Mother

TITLE; Mother  
>SERIES; 30 Grains of Powder<br>FANDOM; Supernatural  
>CHARACTERS; Ben Braeden, Lisa Braeden RATING K WIP OR COMPLETE; Complete WARNINGS. Slash, mpreg DISCLAIMER; Not mine, just playing<p>

Summary; Following 'Yanks in the UK'. It's been four moths since that night, and Ben now realises the consequences of his actions. How will Lisa react to her son carrying the child of her ex lover?

* * *

><p>He couldn't believe it. Stuff like this didn't happen in real life, he thought as he sat on the bathroom floor, several pregnancy tests littered out on the floor. This was tragic romance novels and shit like that! Ben rubbed his face in frustration.<p>

How was it possible? Oh God, they never used protection. "And whose fault was that...?" Ben muttered dryly, thinking back to that night... and that morning.

He didn't know if he wanted to laugh or cry. It could just not be happening. No one ever got pregnant their first time. No one got pregnant their first time. Except him.

Obviously.

What was Dean going to say? They had been together just a night...he was a hunter- and his moms ex... and Ben was a college kid! How was a baby to survive like that? What was he gonna do about college? What would he do about Dean?

Ben cried, not even bothering to wipe them away. Everything had been so perfect. Just for a few hours, everything had been so perfect. But Dean loved his mom. He knew that. How he'd acted in the morning proved that. All he'd been able to talk about was how his mother would react if she found out.

The black haired boy rubbed his tummy tenderly, feeling it was tender and swollen. At least now he knew why.

He closed his eyes in defeat, more crystal droplets rolling down his cheeks. A baby, a tiny little miracle that would be all his. The only thing - only one - that would be truly his. He couldn't turn his back on such an innocent little life that he had made with his own body.

Ten minutes had passed and Ben glanced looked at the tests. He'd gotten at least a dozen of them, telling the shop assistant they were testing them on different drinks.

All positive.

Ben dropped his head into his hands, tears falling like the autumn rain

The doctor said he'd call with the results, but they couldn't all be wrong, could they?

Blindly, he gathered them up and threw them in the trash. What was he going to do? What if Dean didn't want them? His breath hitched and his tears started flowing again. He couldn't let his baby grow up the way he had. Alone, without a dad. Could he even tell Dean?

His baby was going to have loving parents and was not ever going to have to hide in the closet or under the bed because mom's boyfriend was angry or they were being attacked by some monster.

He loved Dean so much it hurt, but there was a little flicker of life inside of him. A tiny hope sparked in his belly, Ben snorted at the corny metaphor, maybe Dean wouldn't be so adverse to the idea...

They would be a family...a real family.

Ben's heart clenched. Did they even have a chance? With him as a...mom...and Dean. God...

Would Dean even come back for him if he knew?

He hardly noticed the door opening or the rushed steps before he was gathered up in a warm embrace and rocked soothingly.

* * *

><p>Ben sat in his tutors office, waiting for his mother to pick up the phone. His tutor, Professor Russell, was watching him silently from his chair, offering silent support.<p>

"Mom?" Ben asked as someone picked up the phone on the other end.

"Ben?" His mother tired voice quizzed, "Is that you? It's three in the morning sweetheart, is everything okay?"

Ben felt his heart break and started to cry.

"Ben?" Lisa sounded suddenly awake and very worried.

Russell took the phone form his student's hand, "Mrs. Braeden," he started, but was cut off by the worried mother.

"Is Ben okay? Is he hurt?"

"Mrs. Braeden, please calm down, Ben is unharmed," he said.

"He is crying," she snapped back.

"Ben has found himself in an unexpected and unfortunate situation-"

"Is he failing-?"

"Your sons grades are exceptional," he assured her, "Ben, shall I?" he addressed the crying boy. Ben nodded, rubbing the tears away from his face with the sleeve of his sweater. "Young Ben has found himself in the family way." he said, sounding awkward.

"What?"

Indeed, he was feeling awkward. He'd not have to deal with this sort of thing since the contraceptive pill, morning after pill and condoms were all available at the college at any hour of any day. But of course; why would a boy, unaware of the possibilities take such precautions when with another man? Or boy.

"You mean he got a girl pregnant?"

"Uh, no. Mrs-"

"It's Ms," she corrected.

"Ms Braeden, your son is expecting a child. Ben is pregnant."

The line was silent.

"Ms. Braeden?"

"I'm coming to England," she said firmly, "I need to see my son."

* * *

><p>Two week later and the first ticket Lisa could afford, found Ben curled up on his bed with his head in his mothers lap. "Honey," she soothed. "It will be okay."<p>

"How?" he asked, voice raspy.

"It just will," she said resolutely. "You will finish your year abroad, like planned and then return home, or stay here..."

"I want to go home," he murmured.

"Okay, you finish your exams and go home. You'll finish your last year of college-"

"How am I supposed to do that with a baby?" he whispered.

"You can," Lisa said, determined. "I managed, and I was alone. You have me. I'm your mom, and I will always be here for you, no matter what," she ran her hand through his hair, "You're such a strong young man. I was terrified, but I did it, and I had you, and you're the centre of my world." She leaned down to kiss him. "You were unexpected, but you became the single most important thing in the whole world."

Ben snorted.

"And Dean would agree," Lisa continued, her thoughts going in the direction of Ben's hero worship of her ex. She noticed Ben tensing, "He loves you so such, and he'd say the same thing; you're strong; you can do this."

Her words just made tears slide from Ben's eyes.

Lisa became worried as a sob escaped her son, "Ben, what's wrong?" she asked.

Ben just sat up and pushed away from her. He his his face in his arms, trying to quell his sobs.

"Ben, anything that makes you this upset, I have to know" Lisa begged, "Please tell me. I can help you."

"No you can't," Ben cried.

Lisa paused, her mind running over the possibilities. Didn't he want the baby? Didn't the other dad want the baby? "Don't you want the baby? Do you want an abortion?" she asked.

"What?" Ben looked at her, eyes swollen with tears, "No!"

"Then it's about the father?" she asked. Ben didn't reply and just rested his head on his knees again. "So that's it..." Lisa sighed, "Honey, I'm sure he'll come around..."

"I haven't told him," Ben whispered.

"Why not?"

"I just can't..."

"Can't you get a hold of him?"

"I haven't tried..." Ben replied weakly.

"Why not? He has a right to know... it would probably be easier on you, if you had someone -"

"It's Dean..."

Ben regretted it the moment the words came out of his mouth. He dared glance up at him mom, who looked confused.

"His name is Dean?" she asked, obviously not wanting to believe what he had just said.

Ben shook his head, new tears slipping down his cheeks, "It's Dean..." he repeated.

Lisa took a deep shaky breath, "You mean... Dean... Winchester? As in... the demon hunting, guns slinging, Chevy Impala driving your step father Dean Winchester?"

Ben nodded.

She stood up, counted to ten and consternated on her breathing. Not only was her son gay, but pregnant... and the final bucket of ice water; he had slept with... her ex, a man she loved. She closed her eyes, trying to quell her anger.

But she wasn't angry at Ben. According to his tutor, Professor Russell, it had been a drunken tumble.

Dean was more than twice Ben's age. How long - was this the first time? Had he... she shook her head. No. There was no point in speculating.

But Dean had several inches on her son. And several pounds of sheer muscle. She knew very well that Dean was... favoured by nature in that respect. And even she had trouble taking him without proper preparation. And he had been drinking? Dean was not 'careful' on a normal day and when intoxicated he was rough. Very rough.

Now she wouldn't make any such claim that she hadn't loved it, but a single round had left her body aching the next morning. Her poor boy... She shook her head. No, she couldn't think of it.

"I'm sorry," Ben whispered.

"How long?" she asked, "Please tell me he never... when he lived- "

"No!" Ben protested, "He never touched me- he never..." he sobbed.

Lisa shook her head, "I need to know, Ben. I need to know what he did to you - you're underage!" she snapped, losing her temper for a moment. She took another breath, "Tell me what happened. Did he hurt you?"

Ben shook his head, "It wasn't like that-" he shifted feebly. He blushed as he remembered how all of him had ached so much he had not been able to move normally for a week. "He came over for a hunt... and we met in a bar..."

"You're not old enough to drink!"

"I have a fake ID," he admitted. His mother glared at him, "I don't think he recognised me... I mean... I hadn't seen him since I was eleven..."

Lisa closed her eyes, blocking out the scenarios that flashed in her head of what Dean could have done to her son at eleven.

"And he was drunk... I was drunk... I missed him and I didn't think..." he trailed off and dried the tear that slipped down his cheek. "I just wanted his attention... I wanted him... as close as I could have him, and I-" he sniffed, "I though that if I... then he wouldn't leave me again," he started crying again.

Lisa was heartbroken. She didn't know what to do, or what do say. Her chest ached for her son. "Oh Ben," she whispered and pulled him into her arms.

"I just wanted him to love me," he whispered brokenly.

"I know sweetheart," she replied. Inside, she was a mess of hurt and fury. She was so confused. "Did he hurt you? What happened afterwards?"

"Not... not intentionally," he mumbled into his moms chest. "He freaked out... when he realised..."

"He just ran?" Lisa asked, not knowing is she should be surprised or not. Dean was a runner, but he was also responsible, caring... or at least she'd thought so.

"No," Ben shook his head. "He... he got me a hot water bottle and tucked me in..."

Lisa felt like crying, thinking of all the times Dean had tucked her son in at bed time.

"And told me angels were watching over me..."

"Knowing Dean, he probably means that literally," she said.

Ben laughed weakly.

Moment passed in silence before Ben spoke again, "I'm sorry mom..."

''I..." Lisa hesitated, "I'm not angry with you... I'm angry at Dean... and at myself for not seeing how much his absence hurt you..."

"You're lying..." Ben pointed out.

Lisa sighed, "I'm upset, Ben. What do you expect? You had sex with... Dean. Who was my boyfriend, your stepfather, for over a year..." she hesitated, "You got pregnant by a man I... "

"Love?"

"Loved," she corrected. "If things were different..."

"You mean if he wasn't a hunter."

"Yes. If he wasn't a hunter, he would have been..." a great father? Husband? Boyfriend?

"I didn't mean to mommy," he said weakly, "I never thought of... him like that before..."

"I know..."

"I'm gonna be a mom..."

"I know..."

"I'm scared..."

"I know..."

The End.


	3. Realisation

TITLE; Realisation  
>SERIES; 30 Grains of Powder<br>FANDOM; Supernatural  
>CHARACTERS; Lisa Braeden<p>

RATING T WIP OR COMPLETE; Complete

WARNINGS. angst

DISCLAIMER; Not mine, just playing

Summary; Lisa can't get to grips with the fact that her son is carrying the child she always thought was meant for her.

And thanks to XXX for reminding me that you as readers only know what I tell you; for those of you who thought Lisa handled this a little too well.

* * *

><p>Lisa closed the door to her hotel room and fell back against it. She closed her eyes and just tried to breathe.<p>

She'd made it. She'd barely held it together long enough to make it through her hotel room door. Ben was... he needed her. He couldn't see her like this.

Her bag slipped from her fingers and fell to the floor with a dull thud. She felt her chest tighten and her knees weaken.

No... no no... no, no, no, no...

She started heaving as she realised she couldn't breathe. Shaking, she slid to the floor.

"Oh my god..." she gasped and clutched her scarf to her chest. It was a silk scarf. Moss green with black trimmings and dark brown shells. Dean gave it to her on her birthday. It was from Israel. She had no idea how he'd gotten a hold of it, but it was beautiful.

It wasn't real. It couldn't be true.

Her hands shook as she franticly pulled on the buckle on her bag. It wouldn't be there. It wasn't true.

But then her hand touched the folder, and her heart started beating frantically. Biting her and holding her breath she prayed it was just an unpaid bill. That it was all a dream.

But the picture in the envelope made her want to scream. She did scream.

"AAAaahhh!"

The photo of the small unborn child was crushed in her hand.

It wasn't fair. Dean always said any child of his would be in too much danger for him to be able to, in good conscience, bring one to life.

She curled up on the floor, clawing at her chest to ease the pain, picture still squashed in her fist.

She felt trapped, desperate... just for some air.

It didn't seem real. The last few days just didn't seem real. Even the blurry room in front of her seemed like a poorly made two dimensional imitation of reality.

She was so confused. So angry.

The horrible feeling of betrayal and jealousy was burning through her.

Fear, desperation, anger, but a different kind.

She was angry, because Ben had taken Dean from her. Because Dean had done that with her son. She was angry because Dean dared hurt her son. Dared put him in danger like this; because he was so young, too young to be a parent. Too young to give birth. Too innocent to have to live with how this would change, damage their relationship indefinitely. Because Ben was defenceless from the dangers, the monsters that would love nothing more than the firstborn offspring of Dean Winchester.

But the hardest feeling to process... because a part of her knew Ben never wanted this. He hadn't understood. He just wanted Dean to love him... love him in any way. Her son just wanted the love and approval of the only male figure in his life, and hadn't understood what he'd asked for... Because she loved her son more than anything, anyone else on the planet. She would always be there for him, because he was hers; made form her body and soul.

It was hard to process that feeling, that thought without feeling like a bad mother. Like a monster.

That was supposed to be _her_ baby.

A/N; what do you think? Any ideas, suggestions or wishes are more than welcome! 


	4. Brotherly Care

TITLE; Brotherly Care  
>SERIES; 30 Grains of Powder<br>FANDOM; Supernatural  
>CHARACTERS; Sam, Dean Winchester<p>

RATING T WIP OR COMPLETE; Complete

WARNINGS. angst and light slash

DISCLAIMER; Not mine, just playing

Summary; Following 'Mother'. Dean can't take his mind off of Ben and that night. Both because of what they did, but he can't quell this feeling of... he doesn't want to think of it. But Sam notices.

moral disclaimer; Ben is 16, the age of consent in Britain. Since Dean is in his mid 30s, Ben needed to be older for me to not be squicky about writing this, but f*ing with the timeline too much kinda ruins the point of the story. So there.

* * *

><p>"Dude, what's wrong with you?" Sam snapped and stuffed some salad in his mouth.<p>

Dean jerked back to reality, "What?" Nothing I 'm fine," he said and sipped his coffee.

"You've been weird ever since we came back from England," Sam pointed out, "I've tried really hard to just ignore it, cause I thought you'd snap back to your normal douchbag self, but you're starting to worry me man..."

Dean sighed. Truth be told; he couldn't get his mind off of Ben.

"What's on your mind?"

Dean shook his head, "I'm just thinking of... Ben..." he said, not realising his voice was shaking.

Sam noticed that Dean's voice sounded like it was about to break, "That's... random? Or has something happened?"

Dean growled under his breath and dropped a few notes on the table, "I just miss the kid..." he said, hoping to cover up what was really going on in his head. And his heart.

He couldn't stop thinking about... him. All of him. It made his heart ache to remember his silky skin and how sweet he smelled. Dean barely noticed Sam getting up and following him to the car. His thoughts continued to race as the scenery changed from small town to just endless masses of trees

Guns N' Roses was ringing through the speakers, but Dean was not listening to the howling screech of Axl Rose, but rather the sexed out whimpers and pleas of his teenage former stepson.

_"Oh Dean please," Ben cried. Dean grunted at the pain of nails tearing into his back, but it only spurred him to go harder, deeper, faster. Ben wrapped his legs tightly around his waist, whimpering and clinging to him as Dean repeatedly invaded his body._

Dean had to close his eyes for a second as a hot flash of desire course through him.

_Ben giggled as he pushed Dean down on the bed and crawled over him. "Guess I'm not going anywhere," Dean grinned, "Hop on then." And Ben did. He raised himself over the large stiff cock and carefully sank down. He sighed in pleasure at being filled. Dean growled and grabbed his hips and yanked him fully on to him. Ben yelped and supported himself on Dean's chest. Dean grabbed his cheeks and spread them wide, making Ben sink down another two inches._

Sam studied his brother as he drove. Dean's knuckles whitened as he held on to the wheel. Sam could even swear there was a blush spreading over his brothers freckled cheekbones. But Dean's head couldn't be farther from the Impala and the road she was on than it was at this moment.

_Ben laid sprawled over his legs, lapping gently at his cock like it was a fucking lollipop. His lips were red and swollen and his cheeks were flushed. To top it off, literally, was that dark mop of silky hair falling into his eyes. And his cock disappearing into that beautiful little mouth..._

"Dean!"

Dean jerked as his brother yanked at the wheel. Instinctively, he bore down on the breaks, making his baby come to a screeching halt. "Sammy what the fuck?" he wheezed.

"What the fuck?" Sam exclaimed, "Dean! You nearly ran off the road!"

"What? No I..." Dean trailed off. "Fuck," he got out of the car.

Sam cringed as Dean slammed the door. With a heavy sigh he got out of the car, only to see Dean sitting on the boot of the car with his head between his knees. "Dean... I'm your brother man, you can tell me what's bothering you..."

Dean just shook his head, "I just need to get my shit together Sammy," he replied roughly. The guilt was crashing down on him to hard he could barely breathe. What was Ben doing now? Was he okay? Dean didn't even dare entertaining the thought of... no. He lost that right a long time ago. He didn't have it in him to be so fucking selfish and seeking out Lisa to ask how they were doing. She'd probably shoot him upon sight. If Ben had told her... which he doubted. But it was just another thing to add to his already long profile and record; sexual assault of a minor and borderline pedophiliac tendencies ... great.

"No shit," Sam mumbled. "I'm driving."

Dean didn't say anything. He just got in the car on the passenger seat and tried to hold himself together.

THE END for now.

* * *

><p>NEXT; "Nearly There"- Lisa and Ben are in New York as the baby is due any day. While Ben struggles with contractions and the prospect of being a single parent, Lisa bumps into Dean on her way to the hospital.<p> 


	5. Nearly There

TITLE; Nearly There  
>SERIES; 30 Grains of Powder<br>FANDOM; Supernatural  
>CHARACTERS; Ben Braeden, Lisa Braeden RATING T WIP OR COMPLETE; Complete WARNINGS. Slash, mpreg DISCLAIMER; Not mine, just playing<p>

Summary; Lisa and Ben are in New York as the baby is due any day. While Ben struggles with contractions and the prospect of being a single parent, Lisa runs into Dean on her way to the hospital.

moral disclaimer; Ben is 16, the age of consent in Britain. Since Dean is in his mid 30s, Ben needed to be older for me to not be squicky about writing this, but f*ing with the timeline too much kinda ruins the point of the story. So there.

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><p>"Mom," Ben called and carefully made his way down the stairs, "Mom?" He hissed in pain as another contraction ripped through him. They had been coming all day. He'd thought they were Braxton Hicks, and told his mom to go to work like usual, but it seemed he'd been wrong.<p>

'Work' at the time being an internet cafe where she could use her laptop. Their small rented apartment didn't have a phone. They only stayed there because Ben's doctor, one of the few in the country that was qualified to deliver male pregnancy born children was in New York. Of course, the Government had offered them full accommodation in return for being allowed to study the pregnancy and the growth of the child, as it was a very rare occurrence.

Ben had refused point blank. Lisa had been frustrated, because the money would have come in handy, but Ben refused his child becoming a lab experiment. That, Lisa could relate to. Not to mention having an FBI agent turn up on their door a few months ago had been an eye opener for them both.

"Oh God..." He moaned and sat down on the step. The contractions were just a few minutes apart now. He breathed out in relief as the contraction let up. Carefully he stood up and walked slowly into the kitchen where his phone lay on the table.

He called his mom. He groaned as he heard the answering machine. Busy or out of battery. "Mom, I'm in labour... I think...-" he hissed in pain, "I'm gonna go to the hospital."

He called his doctor. "Dr. Mayfield?" he gasped, "It's Ben Braeden-"

"Of course Ben, how can I help you?" the doctor replied pleasantly.

"I'm having contractions- ow,"

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, they've been at it all day...oh..." he looked down to see water on the floor. "My water just broke..."

"Okay Ben, I will send an ambulance right away. I will prepare everything for you here. How far apart are your contractions?"

He heard her yell something at someone. "Five or six minutes," he said, his voice shaking.

"Okay Ben. Just calm down. Take a few deep breaths and relax- I know that's hard right now, but please try."

"I'll try..." Ben said.

"Good Ben, I will hang up now, So I can get everything ready. Okay? And I'll see you soon."

"Okay..."

Ben bit his lip as another contraction overcame him. With a pained moan sank to his knees.

This was not how he'd imagined it. Not at all. He'd thought his mom would be here. And that it wouldn't hurt this much. Sometimes... he'd even daydreamed that Dean would be here with him.

He was so scared. The thought of giving birth scared God out of him, and with all the monsters out there made him feel helpless... but facing life with a defenceless baby to protect left him feeling paralysed.

~._.~*~._.~

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><p>Lisa slammed her laptop shut and stuffed it in her bag as she listened to her sons voicemail. Ignoring the startled squeak form the woman next to her, she ran out of the shop and smacked into a man

"Damn - I'm sorry Ma'm-" she heard. She straightened up to come nose to nose with none other that Dean Winchester. "Lisa?"

"Dean?" she stared at him. He hadn't changed much. He looked bigger, like he'd put on more muscle since the last time she'd seen him. But he also looked more tired, haunted almost.

"Lisa..." He couldn't believe he'd just run right into her like this. Well, she'd run into him, but point in case. "Uh, how are you?"

Lisa swallowed and pushed her fringe out of her face, "I'm good, you?" Was that all she could come up with? This man, who had broken her heart, who had broken her sons heart. This man who was the father of the child her son was now giving birth to.

"Same old," he said and looked away, "Hunts are getting... complicated," he admitted, "Nothing's just a salt n' burn anymore." He offered a slight grin, but Lisa didn't smile back. The tense smile slid off his face as he realised Lisa was just staring at him "What are you doing in New York?" he asked, "Ben is in England, right? College..." God, Dean shut up, he told himself.

Lisa grit her teeth, "He's back. He had a year abroad studying mythology," she said. "I'm here just for a few days, visiting a friend."

Dean nodded, "Is Ben okay?" he asked. His voice sounded weak even to himself.

"As well as can be expected," she said. She could feel the tears threatening. She needed to get away.

Dean felt his stomach drop. So Ben wasn't okay?

Lisa saw the worried look on his face. A part of her softened, but another part of her reared up in anger. "He's heartbroken, Dean," she said. Dean felt her accusing eyes cut into him. He way she looked at him almost made him think she knew... but she couldn't. The thought of someone breaking Ben's heart made him... not okay. "He's dealing with it the best he can."

Dean nodded, "He's tough, he'll pull through."

She nodded, "That's what I told him you'd say."

Dean didn't know what to say. He felt like the lowest species on the planet - or below it. "Lisa... do you want to grab a coffee? I've got a n hour to kill before I need to catch up with Sammy..."

Lisa shook her head, "No, I... I've got to get to the hospital. My... friend is having a baby..."

"I can give you a ride," Dean offered, "You'll get there quicker."

"I'll be fine," Lisa replied. She didn't want to sit in the car with him. Being so close to the man who had caused this... situation made her unsure of her self-control.

"Oh..." Dean wetted his lip, "Well... I guess I'll... see you sometime," he said.

Lisa nodded, but didn't smile, "I guess." She turned and hurried down the street, leaving standing on the sidewalk Dean to look after her.

She ran all the way to the clinic. It was just around the corner. But a New York corner was a big corner.

Only a single thoughts rested in her mind as she ran; she was going to be a grand mother, and she'd be damned if she missed it. Despite the circumstances, the thought filled her with a cautious, almost fragile feeling of joy.


	6. A Star Shines Tonight

TITLE; A Star Shines Tonight

SERIES; 30 Grains of Powder

FANDOM; Supernatural

CHARACTERS; Ben Braeden, Lisa Braeden

RATING T WIP OR COMPLETE; Complete

WARNINGS. Slash, mpreg

DISCLAIMER; Not mine, just playing

Summary; Ben has given birth to a son, and is trying to decide on a name? While he makes his choice, an angel is watching over him.

moral disclaimer; Ben is 16, the age of consent in Britain. Since Dean is in his mid 30s, Ben needed to be older for me to not be squicky about writing this, but f*ing with the timeline too much kinda ruins the point of the story. So there.

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><p>Ben couldn't believe it.<p>

He just could not believe it.

He laid in the hospital bed, high on endorphins, and his son sleeping peacefully on his chest.

His son.

It was an unbelievable feeling. It was like nothing had been real until this moment. Every night he spent crying, for the pain he caused his mother, for Dean to come home, out of fear... seemed like a dream.

Now, a tiny 2234 gram baby with blonde hair and blue eyes, which were probably temporary, was just _there. _ He was so light, Ben could barely feel him there, if it wasn't for the reassuring warmth of the new born baby.

A quiet knock sounded on the door, and a moment later his mom popped her head in. "Oh Ben..." she gasped.

Ben just smiled. He really did feel high.

"I'm so sorry," she whispered. "I should have been here for you."

Ben shook his head, "He was born in the ambulance," he said, his voice soft. "Two minutes earlier he could have been born on the kitchen floor."

Lisa just shook her head and smiled. "I'm so proud of you." she stroked his hair.

And proud she was. She really was. But having seen Dean just minutes earlier, and looking at the tiny human, who looked so much like him, she couldn't help but feel a sharp stab of jealousy. But she forced it down.

She couldn't really help it, but she refused to let it ruin this for her; her grandson. Her beautiful little grandson.

"He looks..." she trailed off.

Ben looked away for a second, "You can say it mom..." he said quietly.

Lisa sighed, "When did you grow up?" she wondered out loud.

"He looks like Dean," Ben finished her previous sentence.

Lisa nodded, "He does." Tears welled in her eyes. "He really does."

"At least we know he'll be a handsome little devil," Ben joked.

Lisa let out an involuntary laugh, "We'll have our hand full..."

"Of insulted daughters and furious mothers..." Ben said, making his mother laugh again.

"Oh Ben..." she sighed and kissed his cheeks, "You really are the centre of my world. Never forget that..."

"Mom..." Ben bit his lip, "I know I hurt you... and I -"

"No Ben," she cut him off. "Yes I was hurt, but this is not your fault. It's Dean's-"

"Mom-"

"No Ben. This boy you have here... is the most precious little thing. Your son. And you are my son. I know you love Dean, but from my point of view, he is an adult and you're not. It doesn't matter that he was drunk out of his mind, actually, that just makes me more angry. He probably did not mean to, but he took advantage." she said, conscious to keep her voice low and calm, "He took advantage of your drunken state, and your love for him. I will always be on your side Ben... and your son."

"Michael," Ben said with tears in his eyes, "His name is Michael."

Lisa nodded, "You should give him Dean's name..."

"Are you sure?" Ben asked.

"It has a legacy," Lisa said, "A legacy with God... You know, the night Dean left, it was because an angel came for him." Ben just stared at her. "He said he'd saved the world, and despite how I feel about him right now, Michael deserves that name."

The door opened and a male nurse came in. He looked to be in his thirties, with dark, golden hair, and strikingly amber eyes.

"I see you're both doing well," he said and picked up the chart at the end of the bed. "Have you decided on a name?"

Ben bit his lip, "Michael Braeden Winchester..."

"Winchester, uh..." the nurse smirked and wrote it down on the chart.

Ben frowned as the nurse left. "What's your name?" he called.

The nurse stopped in the door. Glancing over his shoulder, he smirked and gave the new parent nod, "My name is Gabriel..." he said, his hand on the handle, "And Ben?"

"Yeah?"

"Angels are watching over you."

A warm, but funny feeling came over him and Ben couldn't help but think that the nurse... was not a nurse.


	7. Fear Part 1

TITLE; Fear, Part 1

SERIES; 30 Grains of Powder

FANDOM; Supernatural

CHARACTERS; Bed, Lisa, Dean, Sam, Castiel, Gabriel RATING T WIP OR COMPLETE; Complete WARNINGS. demon activity! DISCLAIMER; Not mine, just playing

Summary; Following 'Brotherly Care'. Ben can't help growing increasingly aware of the dangers his son will face due to his Winchester blood. His greatest fear is realised as a salt line breaks. Lisa prays. Gabriel answers.

moral disclaimer; Ben is 17 now, Since Dean is in his mid 30s, Ben needed to be older for me to not be squicky about writing this, but f*ing with the timeline too much kinda ruins the point of the story. So there.

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><p>Ben stood by the window in Mikeys's room. His son was cradled against his chest, his little nose nuzzled against his papa's neck, breathing out small warm puffs of air.<p>

He had an awful feeling. He'd been feeling it for days, but tonight it was bordering on a physical discomfort. The feeling of near panic was oppressing, he didn't feel safe in his mothers house anymore.

Despite having drawn a devil's trap by the door, and under every carpet, there were permanent salt lines covering every door, window and crack in the house, the water tank was blessed and Mikey's room was salted twice, with an additional line around his crib. What more could he do?

Asides from calling Dean...

But Mikey was only seven weeks old.

A part of him was desperate to call Dean, but another part of him knew that if there was any chance of his sons existence not being known to the monster population of the world, calling Dean would put a bulls-eye on their backs.

But that nurse, Gabriel - he refused to believe that an archangel had been assigned to watch over him. If any supernatural creature knew, the news would spread fast, and without Dean physically there to protect them, they were sitting ducks.

He shuddered as he felt like someone was watching him.

Making a decision, Ben swallowed his pride, and more prominently, his fear for Dean's reaction, and decided to call the father of his son.

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><p>Lisa was in the kitchen, putting the clean dished back in the cabinets.<p>

She felt horrible for the fact, but she couldn't look at Mikey and not see Dean. She'd barely held the boy since he'd been born.

While before, she had been just fine in an 'out of sight, out of mind' sort of way. But now Dean was very much present. And her heart ache was back with a vengeance.

Her relationship with Matt had suffered from it. Matt was a doctor, a very successful doctor and they had been together for more than a year. He hadn't moved in, yet. He had practically lived there while Ben was in England, but given the circumstances, he had gone back to his flat.

Matt knew very little of Dean. He knew his name was Dean and he'd broken Lisa's heart, and that Ben idolised him, but that was it.

But regardless of his knowledge of Dean, the other mans constant ghostly presence in their household had caused friction in their relationship.

He hadn't come over often after Mikey was born. He'd stay the night at weekends, but otherwise was mostly at work. Ben was very uncomfortable with the way the man coddled and cooed at his son. Mostly she'd gone to him.

Deep in thought, she didn't hear Ben until he called for her.

"Mom," Ben called, "Mom." he made his way down the stairs.

"What, honey?" she called back from the kitchen.

"I'm calling Dean," he said.

His mother turned around, "Ben, are you sure?"

Ben swallowed, "I've been having this awful feeling for days, mom. I'm scared. I'm more scared of what's causing that feeling than what Dean will say or even do when he finds out about Mikey," he said, phone in his hand, already dialing the number he had long since committed to memory.

Lisa looked conflicted, but nodded, "You're right," she said, "We know better than to ignore it. "I'll check the salt lines."

"That wont be necessary..." a oily voice said, appearing out of nowhere, stepping carefully around the devil traps. "Put the phone down, Ben, and I won't kill you before your baby-daddy has a chance to watch you die."

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><p>Across the country, a bloody and beaten Dean stared at his phone with puzzlement.<p>

"What?" Sam asked, seeing his brother's expression.

"I've got a missed call from Lisa... from three days ago," Dean said. He'd been chasing a wendigo for half a week and had not really been in touch with the outside world.

"That's weird," Sam said, "You haven't seen her in... God, is it six years?"

"I saw her in New York..." Dean said sounding absent minded.

"What was she doing in New York?"

"Friend was having a baby..." he was cut off by a dual sound of wings flapping in their room.

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><p>Dean nearly threw up as the archangel zapped them right into the neighbourhood Dean had come to call his own for a while. He paled as he realised where he was.<p>

"Lisa?" he asked as he saw a woman run towards them.

"Gabriel?" She called, "Gabriel, where is Ben and Michael?" she cried.

Gabriel stepped up in an uncharacteristic show of compassion, "Lisa, I know where they are, but the entire property is warded for angels, hence why I brought these two monkeys," he said and jerked his head towards Sam and Dean. "I've taken them as close as I can without my grace being detected. They'll drive there and... hopefully bring him back.

Dean ran around the car and over to Lisa. He pulled her into a hug. "What happened?" he asked, "I had a missed call from you just before Gabriel showed up."

"Ben has been feeling off all week, and he said it was so bad tonight, he was actually scared, so he took Michael from his room and was about to call you... we didn't know what else to do, but the the demon showed up..." she cried.

"Lisa -"

"And we have tried everything we could think of, salt lines, devil traps, hex bags, but he got in. One of the lines must have broken somewhere -"

"Lisa," Dean said sternly, "We'll get them back for you, or I will die trying," he promised. "Now, who is Michael? What does he look like?"

"Michael," Gabriel said, "is a few week old infant," he said. "He plays an important part in God's plan."

"So basically you put a demon-homing-beacon in Lisa's care?" Dean muttered.

Gabriel glared at him. Lisa did as well, but said nothing. Only Ben had the right to tell Dean. Her son had made her promise, and she would keep that promise. "Just get them back to me, please," she said.

-._.-*-._.-

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><p>Dean had never been so angry. And he had never been so scared. He'd been a chew toy for hell hounds, done head to head with the devil, but the thought of some <em>monster <em>having Ben, his Ben, chilled him to the marrow of his bones. But it also brewed a fury in him that fueled every stab and slash of his knife and blast of his rifle.

But nothing had prepared him for seeing some simpering demon bitch delivering a kick to a bundled up shape in the corner.

Four long steps and the bitch was dead.

But the whimpering didn't stop.

"Ben?" His voice was almost a whisper.

Ben's face was dirty and streaked with tears. "D-Dean?" his voice cracked as he spoke.

Dean felt relief flood through him, despite bruised and tear streaked skin of the boy in front of him, and pulled him into his arms.

"No-" Ben whimpered and clutched something closer to his chest. That 'something' made a keening little sound.

Dean moved in front of him, and saw a tiny little green bundle with a pink little face. Time seemed to freeze.

The baby was... so tiny. Dean swallowed and looked up at Ben, who was staring at him with wide scared eyed. Dean blinked. Ben was scared of him? "We need to go," he heard himself say. His voice didn't sound like his own. "We're in angel proof territory and your mom is frantic," he said and easily lifted Ben to his feet.

"Ah," Ben cried out as pain flashed through his ankle.

Dean grabbed him before he fell, "I'm just gonna carry you, okay?" he said and swept the teen off his feet.

Sam paused as he saw his brother carry a teenage boy cradled to his chest. He had never seen Dean look at anyone with the sheer _care _and affection that he looked at Ben. He had never seen Dean with his 'family' and until the night before, he had never met Lisa.

But that boy seemed eerily familiar.

He shook his head and walked ahead of his brother to the car. He threw his and Deans weapons in the trunk. With an afterthought he opened the door to the back seat and watched Dean carefully put the teen down and supported him as he slipped into the car. At that moment he didn't think Dean offered a single thought to the dirt, blood and general grime now smeared on his precious leather seats.

Dean frowned. Ben was shaking. "Hey," he said and took off his jacket, "Take this, you gotta keep yourself and the little guy warm."

"Thanks..." Ben said quietly and covered himself and Mikey in the warm leather jacket.

Dean paused and was about to say something. But what could he say? With a sigh he jogged around the car and got in.

Despite Dean's jacket, Ben was cold. So cold he was shaking. He was still wearing his pajamas form three days ago, just dirty socks on his feet. Mikey was simpering quietly. Warily, he looked up at Dean, who was driving, and Sam who was staring intently out the window.

Mikey started crying softly. Ben knew he was hungry and his diaper was wet and soggy.

"Is he for real?" Ben heard Sam whisper quietly.

Dean looked over at Sam sharply, "Really Sam, really?" Ben saw him glance at them in the mirror and quickly looked away. "We'll be there in a couple of hours," Dean spoke louder. "They put in some real effort, Ben, they angel proofed nearly an entire state... must have taken them months..." He leaned over and opened the dashboard. "Here," he said and handed him a chocolate bar, "We don't have anything else... we can stop and get some take-out somewhere..."

"Thank you..." Ben said quietly and took the chocolate from Dean's hand, their finger brushing. He dared let a small smile grace his face as he felt the hot air of the air conditioning. He glanced up to see Dean looking at him in the mirror. When Dean winked at him, he felt butterflies in his belly.

Blushing slightly he looked away. He knew Dean was only trying to lighten to mood a bit after Sam's not-so-discreet comment, but it still went straight to his heart. And it made him hurt. Biting his lip he pushed his sweater up and held Mikey up to his swollen chest.

He could see the obvious tension draining from Sam as Mikey quieted down. Gradually Ben felt the ache in his chest fade as his son drank deeply.

Slowly, Ben felt the adrenalin fade from his body. As the warmth surrounded him and the safety blanket of Dean's presence, Ben drifted off to sleep.

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><p>AN; End of Fear, Part1! what do you think?


	8. Fear Part 2

TITLE; Fear, Part 2

SERIES; 30 Grains of Powder

FANDOM; Supernatural

CHARACTERS; Ben, Lisa, Dean, Sam RATING T WIP OR COMPLETE; Complete WARNINGS. Slash, mpreg DISCLAIMER; Not mine, just playing

Summary; Dean is conflicted as he believes Lisa has had another child, and heartbroken as Ben seems afraid of him. But Lisa does not look like a woman who has given birth, and Ben is too protective of that child for the average big brother.

To those who wonder why this story says 'complete' - it's because this is a series of oneshots. I just figured it would be easier for everyone to follow the series if i update the oneshots as chapters.

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><p><em>A mother becomes a mother when she finds out she's pregnant. A father becomes a father when he holds his child.<em>

_.  
><em>

Dean had never felt more awkward than when he was sitting by the dinner table with Lisa, Castiel, Gabriel and Sam. The angels had warded the house so thoroughly while they were gone that even humans couldn't do any harm within the walls of the Braeden household.

But sitting next to Lisa, silently, knowing what he had done... was torture. Finding out that Lisa had another child was... not as a painful discovery as he had thought.

He supposed a small, but literal blessing was that Castiel had immediately healed them upon arrival. Another blessing, he supposed, was that Ben had disappeared upstairs to shower and bathe the little one and himself.

It puzzled Dean that Ben was so... possessive of the baby. He'd thought Lisa would tear the child from his arms the second he came in the doors, but she had barely paid it mind.

"If you'll excuse me for a mo'," he said and stood up. On silent feet he went upstairs to the bathroom.

He was relieved to see that Ben was no longer in the bathroom, as he really had intended to relieve himself. The bathroom was not its usually pristine self; there was a diaper on the floor and dirty clothes and towels in the corner. Also, a stack of clean diapers on a changing table along with baby clothes. Dean was sure many of them had belonged to Ben. With a crooked grin he zipped up and headed towards Ben's room.

Time to face the music...

He stopped outside the door and took a deep breath before he gently pushed the door open. The room looked very different from when he had last seen it. God, six, nearly seven years ago. Then it had been covered in rock star posters and full of random stuff every young boy just _had _to have.

Now it was a nursery. Most of the things that had belonged to Ben were packed away, and in their stead were... baby care stuff.

There was a crib next to the bed- not the same bed he'd had as a child. But the baby laid cradled into the crook of Ben's arm instead of his own bed. Ben was literally curled around the little tyke.

Dean gently tapped his fingertips on the door frame to alert his presence. There was no other reaction from the boy on the bed, than eyes that immediately snapped open, looking him directly in the eyes.

Dean was slightly unnerved by the reaction. He swallowed and forced down his nervousness. "You need to eat."

"It can wait," Ben said, his soft voice not matching the intensity of his stare. He looked down at his son, "Mikey is more important now..." And he truly was. While he could feel the wards the angels had made, every maternal instinct within him screamed not to let his baby out of his arms. Not even to eat.

"I'm sure your brother sleeps just fine. You haven't eaten for three days at least..."

"And I won't for another three if it mean she's safe..." Ben said and stroked Mikey's cheek. He bit his lip and prayed hell would not be let loose upon his next words, "he is not my brother... he's my son."

Dean frowned, "And where the lucky girl?" he asked, a feeling of unease low in his stomach.

Ben pulled the little boy to his chest and to Dean he looked more vulnerable and innocent than he had ever before. He longed to take him into his arms and tell him that everything would be okay. But it seems he was too late.

"No girl..." Ben whispered.

Dean didn't say anything. He couldn't. He felt like he'd been punched in the gut. Kicked in the nuts. Every figure of speech one could think of.

"Did all the hard work myself," Ben whispered, his voice shaking. All of him was shaking. He was so tense, so scared of what would happen next, he couldn't control the tremble that consumed his body.

Now Dean was never really any good at theoretical maths. He knew what he needed to know to calculate the ratio of whatever to whatever to make his bombs work and engines function. But he could count to nine. He could count to nine from every direction, in any equation and any situation. Nine. Nine months. October.

His mouth was too dry for him to speak. But he tried. "You..." he swallowed and cleared his throat. He stepped into the room and closed the door. "Is he..." Lord have mercy on him; he couldn't even say the words.

"Yours?" Ben's voice broke and a tear slipped down his cheek.

Dean felt light-headed and sat down in the rocking chair next to the bed. He put his head between his knees and sighed as blood rushed back to his head. He rubbed his hands over his face, "Yeah... is he?"

"Yeah..."

"God..."

"I don't think he had much to do with it..." Ben joked tearily.

"You'd be surprised at what the old man sticks his nose in..." Dean muttered. Shit... God... what a time to be rendered speechless at. What had he done? Ben was just sixteen. Well, seventeen now. But that hardly made it any better. He was still underage. He was still his ex-girlfriends underage son.

He felt... overwhelmed.

He couldn't quite believe it. After having lost his mom, raised his brother, hunted every monster in the book, been in hell for half a century, stopped the apocalypse... it was the knowledge of that he had a child that overwhelmed him. He had a son.

That incredibly small pink bundle was his son.

His and Ben's son.

"Ben...I..."

"I know you can't stay," Ben whispered.

Dean was sure the boy was crying. "Ben, no I... I am so sorry... for putting you in this situation..." he said. "Fuck... I... I don't know what to say..." He sighed, "Why didn't you come to me? Or call? Anything? Ben, I... I would have been here with you... for you." He looked at Ben, who was staring at him with wide tear filled eyed, "It was New York, wasn't it?" He asked, "I bumped into your mom in New York on the 2nd two months ago... a Saturday."

"Yeah..." Ben nodded. "I was scared," he said, "That you'd be mad... and mom..." That Dean said he'd met his mom in New York didn't really register.

"She knows?"

"Yeah..."

"How did she react?"

"Better than I expected, but she..."

"She what?"

"She's lying..."

"About what?"

"She says everything is okay, but it's not." New tears slipped down Ben's cheeks, reflecting in the light. Dean felt his heart clench painfully at the sight. "She's distant... and she wont ever touch Mikey if she can help it..." Ben bit his lip, "I know she... she doesn't mean- she..."

"I'd hazard a guess she's having a hard time adjusting," Dean said. He felt like he was drowning. Drowning in general, and drowning in guilt. "Look, Ben..." he stood up and sat down on the bed next to him. He hesitated slightly as he moved to put his hand... somewhere. He twisted around and settled a hand on Ben's waist and the other on the bed next to their son. Ben was shaking under his hand, "Shh...," he tried to soothe him. "I'm sorry." He sighed, "I was... inexcusably drunk and I -" This was so much harder to say out loud than it was in his head, "I took advantage of you, I hurt you-" his voice cracked. "Ben, I... I love you more than I do anyone on this earth- or off it... and you have no idea how much i regret -"

"No," Ben said. His voice was quiet, like before, but firmer. "You don't get to regret this, you don't get to regret Mikey-"

"I regret hurting you," Dean said, "It tears me apart... I'm supposed to protect you -"

"You're not my dad-"

"Thank fucking god I'm not," Dean whispered. This conversation was the kind that could only be held in whispers; it couldn't be spoken out loud. "It's bad enough as it is without adding incest to the mixing pot, Ben," Dean cursed his own words as he saw Ben's hurt expression. "You're underage. If I didn't already have an entire FBI unit assigned to me, along with a rep sheet as long as my arm..."

Ben blinked and looked away. He hadn't even thought of that. "I'm sorry..." He was sorry for a lot of things. He was sorry for being so clingy. For not being _good _ enough.

"None of this is your fault," Dean said, "You are..." he wetted his lips, "Beautiful, Ben."

"But not pretty enough," Ben asked, "Or _good_ enough. I know I'm... I'd never done it before but I..." he suddenly looked incredibly small, "I can learn..." his voice nothing but a broken breath of air that shattered Dean's heart.

"Ben , no," Dean swallowed. He had no idea what to say. Was that what Ben was thinking? He really wanted Dean like that? He just wanted to scoop the teen up in his arms and hold him and protect him form the world. But what could he say? Dean closed his eyes, "I'm going to hell," he muttered, "Again," he added quietly to himself, "You were amazing," he said, only too aware of his hand on Ben's waist. "Ben..." he sighed, hoping he wouldn't sound like too much of a pervert, "I... I couldn't control myself, you were so..." a blush, both of shame and remembered lust spread over his cheeks.

Ben was still shaking.

"Ben... I will only say this once, so listen up- look at me." Ben reluctantly looked up at him, his eyes glossy with tears. "Your mother..." Dean could see Ben's eyes filling with new tears, "Scares the Holy Jesus out of me," he said, "I swear on my baby..." he looked at the child on the bed, "- uh, the Impala, that she frightens me more than Death- that's capital 'D' Death, the Grim Reaper himself. Not a very nice guy I must say, although he does love his burgers."

Ben couldn't help but giggle.

Dean smiled a crooked grin, "Never doubt that you're the most precious thing in the world to me..." he bit his lip, "I'm just not sure what that means... Or what it can mean..."

Ben sucked in his lip and nodded, "Time...?"

Dean nodded, "Yeah... time."

They sat silently, just watching the tiny baby slumber, twitching and making tiny sounds in his sleep.

"He's beautiful," Dean murmured. He looked at Ben, "You did an amazing job." Well that didn't sound awkward; like he'd gotten an 'A' on a project at school.

Dean wondered if he should go back down. He didn't really want to. The dark of the room let him hide and think things over. The glaring lights of the living room, Lisa's dark accusing eyes... Sam's dark accusing eyes, Castiel and Gabriel's all knowing eyes...

"Dean?"

"Hm?"

"Can you stay?" Ben asked. He was sure Dean would say no, but he was scared. He knew the angels had warded the house, but he didn't feel safe. "I mean... here," he bit his lip, "-with me and Mikey tonight?"

Dean paused for a second. He knew what Ben was asking. That look was the look on his face when he had to double check under the bed and in every closet. "Yeah," he said.

He pulled off his shirt, but paused at his jeans. Sleeping in jeans was pretty uncomfortable, but he refused to made Ben uncomfortable.

"It's okay," Ben said, seeing Dean hesitate. Dean nodded and hung is clothes on the rocking chair and crawled in behind them.

It felt disturbingly right to have Ben's back against his chest and his newly washed and still damp head on his arm. And just have him wrapped up in his arms, and his nose buried in that soft neck; he smelled like baby powder.

Ben lifted Dean's arm, and pulled their son closer. Dean laid his arm back down to hold them both.

It felt surreal Ben did not want to think about the hell that would be unleashed the next day. Right now, he felt safe, and that was all that mattered.

Dean felt like he'd come home. For now, the guilt was put on the back burner, his fears calmed. Right now it was all about Ben... and Mikey. He didn't want to think about it all. Not about Lisa, nor Sam.

He allowed himself a small smile as Ben intertwined their legs. For a few hours, he shut out the world; his fears, and anything other than his current mission of having Ben and his son, his son... feel safe after having been kidnapped by demons.

Right now only Ben and Mikey mattered to him.

The tension drained for his body for the first time in months and Dean drifted off to sleep holding them tight to his chest.


	9. Father

TITLE; Father

SERIES; 30 Grains of Powder

FANDOM; Supernatural

CHARACTERS; Ben Braeden/Dean Winchester, Lisa, Sam RATING T WIP OR COMPLETE; Complete WARNINGS. Slash, mpreg DISCLAIMER; Not mine, just playing

The story says 'complete' because this is a series of oneshots!

Summary; Dean struggles with the concept of fatherhood, and the guilt of placing such a burden on Ben. Lisa can't cope, her boyfriend Matt offers an ear and while Dean and Ben know they need time, they also need each other more than they realised.

-'*'-._.-'*'-

'-. _(*)_ .-'

* * *

><p>When Dean woke up, he thought he was still dreaming. He woke to Mikey laying on his chest, and Ben tucked into his side. Only a dream would be this perfect.<p>

But the centred warmth of the infant on his chest, and the insistent prickling in his arm that Ben was sleeping on.

With a smile on his face, he closed his eyes and went back to sleep.

When he woke up the next time it was to Ben slipping back into bed with Mikey on his arm, "Hm?"

"Had to change his diaper," Ben whispered.

"Hm," Dean made another sound and glanced at the clock on the bedside table. "Time to get up..." he said. It was eight-thirty. "That is, I'm making breakfast, you go back to sleep, and I'll bring it up to you."

"You don't have to-"

"Zip it Ben. You haven't eaten properly for days. Don't think I've forgotten that you didn't have dinner yesterday," he said and fixed the teen with a stern green eyed glare.

"I brought your bag up," Ben said, "Have a shower..."

Dean made a face, he hadn't showered since the rescue, Which on its own had taken two days, and then the wendigo hunt before that. He really had to smell bad. "Damn, you should have made me get a shower before getting in bed," he muttered.

"I didn't really care," Ben said, a fair blush on his cheeks.

Dean felt like they were staring directly at the huge pink elephant in the room. Not that the room was big enough to fit an elephant, which only further proved the point.

"Yeah... I'll go shower then. I'm sure no one else will be so accommodating." He winked at Ben and grabbed some clothes out of his bag and headed to the bathroom.

Ten minutes later and, scrubbed pink and much less demon grime on him, Dean headed downstairs, only to see that Sam was already awake, reading the newspaper on the couch.

"Hey Sammy," he said as he walked into the kitchen.

* * *

><p>Sam just watched as his brother moved about the kitchen like it was his own. He supposed he had lived there for quite a while.<p>

But something did not sit right with him. Last night, things had been... awkward. He'd thought coming home to his ex girlfriend after having saved her sons lives would be met with a warmer welcome.

He also hadn't expected Dean to disappear upstairs. Bathroom, sure. But Dean hadn't come back down.

Neither Garbiel, Castiel or Lisa had questioned it. Although Lisa had seemed far more tense when Dean was gone than when he was there. But Sam was a smart guy. Something was up with Dean.

He'd gone upstairs, and as he expected, Dean was not in the bathroom. He'd heard talking further down the hallway, and stood outside the door listening.

_"Never doubt that you're the most precious thing in the world to me... I'm just not sure what that means... Or what it can mean..." _

_"Time...?" _

_"Yeah... time." _

_"He's beautiful... you did an amazing job." _

_"Dean?" _

_"Hm?"_

_"Can you stay? I mean... here with me and Mikey tonight?"_

_"Yeah,"_

Then he'd just heard the rustling of clothes and sheets. Not knowing what to make of it, he'd gone tot the bathroom, and when he came out, Lisa stood by the door to Ben's room, glancing in. She looked like she was about to cry.

_"I just had to check on him," she said, "Sometimes he's so worried about Mikey he can't sleep... but Dean is here now..." she trailed off, "Dean always was his own personal Fort Knox," she tried to joke._

But Sam could see she was barely holding it together. And now, looking at his brother, he saw he was struggling with the same thing. He looked like he had the world on his shoulders.

He heard the unmistakable sound of light female feet coming down the stairs. Dean heard it to. He could tell by the tensing of his shoulders.

"Uh, I'm just gonna go get - yeah..." he stood up and went out to the car.

* * *

><p>Dean silently cursed his brother, but this moment had been a long time coming. "Good morning," he said. However this was going to go down, he was not starting it.<p>

Unsurprisingly, Lisa did not reply. "What are you doing?" she asked, her voice flat.

"I'm making breakfast," Dean said, "Since I was first up, I figured -"

"Don't. Don't figure," Lisa turned to him, looking pissed- but the kind of pissed that could easily be confused for simple homicidal rage. "You don't live here anymore. This is not your kitchen."

Dean looked at her in surprise, "I never said it was-"

"You can't just come here and act like nothing happened," she cried. "How can you stand here, and just... make breakfast?"

"Because I don't know what else to do!" Dean said, tense.

"You could leave!" Lisa yelled, "Just leave, we were fine before you came-"

"Yeah with demons -"

"And who's fault was that?" she shot back. " If it wasn't for you- for Mikey this would never have happened!"

"But it did - and don't you dare blame -"

"You? You had sex with my _son!" _she screamed at him.

Dean closed his eyes and took a deep breath, "I know."

"How could you do that- how could you hurt him like that. how could you do that _to me!" _she cried, "I thought you loved me, I thought you loved Ben, how could you -"

Dean shook his head. She'd hit a nerve with that one, "I love Ben more than anything - I would have been here-"

_"Be here -?"_

"I would have been here if I'd known -" Dean was shouting, and his voice rough. "You didn't fucking tell me- and you lied to me. I was in New York when Mikey was born, we met and you never told - I offered to drive you to the hospital where _my _son was being born and you lied to my face -"

"I did, because you _love m_y son so much you had to rape him and get him pregnant!-" she yelled.

Dean looked at her in shock. She made it sound like... He felt the hurt, and the anger growing in his chest.

* * *

><p>Sam shuddered as he heard the yelling start before he was even out the door. He was about to leave when a thought occurred to him. Castiel listened in on them all the time. No. He couldn't just stand in the hallway and listen to his brother and his ex. With a sigh he stepped outside and sat down on the step.<p>

But go figure. The kitchen window was open, and he could hear them perfectly fine.

Crossing his arms over his chest, he leaned back and listened intently. By every word said his eyes brows just steadily rose towards his hairline.

A part of him refused to believe that Dean had... had sex with his step son. And Ben had gotten pregnant. That little baby was Dean's son. His nephew.

What had Dean gotten himself into?

Sam frowned. Surely the angels knew.

The argument was getting louder and from Lisa's side, cattier, and from Dean's side angrier and more defensive. He'd never heard Dean like this before. It had always been their dad and him who had been arguing, and Dean being the peacemaker. But he knew that ever since Dean got back from hell he'd been different. Not 'different' enough to do what Lisa had said he'd done, but different.

* * *

><p>Dean laid in the hammock he had set up in the yard six years previously, with little Mikey on his chest. Deep in thought, he ran his fingertips gently over the sleeping baby's back. The sun as shining brightly<p>

His and Lisa's argument that morning had come to a short drop and a sudden stop as a teary eyed Ben had come down stairs, begging them to stop fighting.

The tears had sent Dean's testosterone levels plummeting. Lisa's words had cut him deeply. He understood she was hurt, but to deny him his son's birth, when he had unknowingly been down the street from where Ben was giving birth, to accuse him of rape and child molestation was... more than he could take without losing his temper.

Lisa had stormed back upstairs and only a few minutes later stormed just as furiously out of the house and slammed the door- giving the Impala a kick on the way. His poor girl.

* * *

><p><em>Ben sat down by the kitchen table and winched as his mother slammed the door. <em>

_Dean dumped the burnt pancake in the trash and leaned against the counter. He let out a harsh breath and rubbed his brow. "I'm sorry, Ben," he said. "We shouldn't argue like this..." _

_Ben shook his head, "No, you shouldn't..." he sighed, "But I heard what she said... and that was not okay." _

_Dean nodded, "No, it wasn't..." _

_"I didn't know you were in New York," Ben said. "I... I was too scared to call you, but... I really wanted you there." _

_Ben nodded. _

_Dean put a plate full on pancakes on the table, "I think they might be a little cold, but..." _

_"It's okay," Ben said and helped himself to one. _

_Dean smiled and sat down, "You sleep okay?" _

_"Better than I have in a long time," Ben smiled, "But then, he's not kicking my kidneys anymore..." _

_"Ouch," Dean made a face, "Sorry..." He smiled, "Not really. He's beautiful." _

_Ben blushed, "Thank you..." _

_Dean smirked and took a bite, "Tell me about yourself," he said, "What have you been doing?" _

_"Um... I got into college, got a 1st in my first year so I was allowed a year abroad..." he blushed, "I study religion and mythology." _

_Dean smiled, "Bobby will love you then." _

_"Who's Bobby?" Ben asked. _

_"He's like... my dad, in every way that matters. Uncle Bobby. He knows everything there is to know about religion and mythology. He's got all the original books and knows the languages too. He'd love you. He always complains Sammy and I never listen unless we're hunting something." _

_Ben felt the excitement grow as Dean spoke. "Really?" _

_Dean nodded, "Yeah. We should go down and see him. You'd love his house, just filled from floor to roof with books." _

_"I'd really like that," he said shyly. _

* * *

><p>Dean sighed and glanced over at Ben who was asleep on the grass with an open book under his head as a pillow.<p>

He cocked his head as he heard a summing engine- indeed it was summing, or buzzing, like a bee, not humming as one should. With practised ease he slipped out of the hammock, holding the baby steadily to his chest.

He walked to the front of the house to see some guy park his _electric _car where his own sweet girl used to stand in the driveway. The guy was slightly taller than himself, but nowhere near as tall as Sammy. And he was... Dean cocked his head. Not skinny, but it was obvious that very little of the man was muscle. Proportioned, but flabby. Mousy brown hair, slacks and a short sleeved button-up shirt; fairly ordinary in other words.

The man stopped short as he saw Dean. Then he smiled, "Michael!" he called excitedly and jogged over.

Dean winched as Mikey started crying.

The man reached to take Mikey from him, but Dean barely restrained a snarled as he stepped away, "Woah, who are you?"

The stopped and looked surprised, "Dude? Who are you?"

Dean just fixed him with a glacial green glare. He cradled his son closer to him, wary as he had no idea who this guy was.

The man stepped back, offended, "I'm Matt. Now who are you? And why do you have Michael? Where is Lisa?"

"Lisa's not here," Dean replied.

"I'll come in and wait then," he said made to push past Dean.

"Mate, she's not here," Dean repeated, "Can I take a message."

"Yeah, tell Lisa that her boyfriend thinks you're a douche," he paused, "Look, I'll stand out here -"

"You're Lisa's boyfriend?" Dean asked, looking the man up and down, a hint of disbelief in his voice.

Matt looked at the man in front of him, tanned, handsome, glowing greet eyes, rippling muscles, a few tattoos and a lot of scars. "Yeah."

"Now in stead of making Mikey cry, why didn't you just say that?" Dean rolled his eyes and walked back into the house, leaving the door open. He deliberately walked over the devil's trap - a corrected devil's trap and was slightly relieved when the guy walked straight through.

"I didn't expect to be interrogated upon arrival, now can I have the little guy?" he moved to take Mikey again, who immediately started crying.

"Uh, _no." _Dean said. "As of right now, I don't like you. We've had a tough few days and I'm not about to hand him over to some dude who as of ten seconds ago, I've never met, and has really made a douche bag impression."

"You still haven't told me who _you _are," Matt shot back.

In that moment Ben walked in, having heard Mikey crying. "What's going on?" he asked, his voice sounding sleepy. "Matt?" He didn't take Mikey from Dean, but instead he kissed his shoulder and slipped under his arm. Sighing contentedly he fitted himself nicely into his side. "Mom's not here," he said.

Ben and Matt had never gotten along. Matt had just dropped into his life, being the complete opposite of any male figure Ben could appreciate having in his life. With Matt had come classical music, vegetarian food, health and safety- not the 'don't touch the guns' health and safety Dean had laid down the law on, but anti-bac and fanatical hand washing and that _electric _car. But also the disapproving look he'd gotten when choosing religion and mythology instead of something 'useful' or even just his non-straight edge way of dressing.

"Yeah - this guy here told me," he said and gestured at Dean, "You could tell him to have some manners."

"You're lucky he didn't shoot you," Ben replied and glanced at the wide selection of weapons and guns on the dining table. "Things have been a bit tense..."

"Your mom said you were missing," Matt said, "You're obviously unhurt."

"Yeah, Dean found me in time..." Ben nodded.

Matt's brows rose, "So you're Dean, Lisa's-"

"Mikey's dad," Dean cut him off.

"Ah, so you're not-" he paused, "Ok, cool man, nice to meet you."

Dean gave a half hearted smile and unconsciously tightened his grip on Ben.

Ben was still very sleepy and just felt like purring as Dean's rock hard arm tightened around him. He knew they were just trying to settle in to the new reality of parenthood. It had just been a night and a few hours since he'd told him and Ben was sure he was still processing. Though he had to say it was a relief to see how easily Dean took to Mikey, and how easily Mikey took to Dean.

They faced an uncertain future; hunting was not a nine to five job, and very dangerous. He knew Dean loved hunting and he didn't have the heart to ask him to stop. Both because it's was Dean's life, his purpose, and because of all the people who would die horribly if he wasn't there to help. Ben had himself been one of those people. His mom had been one of those people.

"Why don't you lie down," Dean said and kissed his hair, "I'll make us some lunch, 'kay?"

"So..." Matt leaned against the counter, "You and Ben, uh? How's Lisa feel about you... well, being her age?"

Dean didn't paused as he expertly handled the knife. "Ben and I... we're complicated," Dean said, not looking up.

"I can imagine..." Matt said, "Look, I know we started off on the wrong foot -"

"I know," Dean said, "I'm just really... tense, right now." He put the knife down. "I just..."

"Dude, you can talk to me. I know we've just met, but I'm not gonna run of and tell Lisa everything you say. Man to man, get a different perspective?"

"I'm Dean," Dean said.

"Yeah, I got that," Matt said and sat down.

"Lisa's Dean."

"Oh." Matt just stared at him, "You're serious?" Dean nodded, "Damn, I'm getting the 'complicated'..."

"No shit..."

"So... I mean... I - what happened? I mean..."

"First off," Dean said, "I never, and I mean _never _ though of Ben that way when Lisa and I were together. _Never." _

"Good to hear," Matt nodded, "So what happened?"

Dean just shook his head. "I hadn't seen Ben in... six years," Dean said, "And being in England I just didn't..." he searched for words.

"Connect the dots?"

"Yeah... the alcohol didn't help. The cheeky brat had a fake Id," Matt studied Dean as the blond man smiled fondly. Dean sighed and the smile faded, "I freaked out... when I woke up..."

"So you just... ran?"

"What? No of course not," Dean protested. "I mean... I left. After I'd had a shower and tucked him in- god that sounds to wrong..." he moaned.

Matt chuckled, "Dean, I get how this is weird for you, and I have to say, even as an outsider I find the age gap a bit... substantial, but I can see it form you perspective; you're on the other side of the world, in a 21+ bar and you happen to run into an attractive young guy, who as he looks a lot like his mom, is just your type... the last thing you expect is for this guy to be your ex's sixteen year old son, who you last saw at ten, on a year abroad with a fake Id. I get how Lisa is pissed, but..." he shook his head, "an honest mistake, man. It's not like it' a very likely scenario..."

Dean nodded. Matt seemed to be... quite an all right guy, despite their rough start. "Yeah, but I really care about him. I mean, I cared about him before, like, stepson. But now..." He sat down and handed Matt a beer.

"You care _care?" _

Dean took a breath, "Yeah."

"So how'd you take it when he told you about Michael?" he asked and took a sip of his beet.

Dean chuckled, "I'm still processing."

"You've had a while... so..."

"He told me yesterday."

Matt chocked on his beet, "What?"

Dean nodded, "Ben said... he was just scared of how I'd react. Which I get. I mean, he's seventeen, having his moms ex's baby. Who wouldn't be a bit freaked out?"

"What about Lisa?" Matt really expected her to step up and be the adult' realise a guy needed to know about becoming a father.

Dean shook his head, "Nope. I bumped into her in New York the day Mikey was born... just down the road form the hospital. I even offered to give her a ride there... she just said a friend of hers was having a kid..."

Matt frowned. He could understand that Lisa was pissed. She had the right to be pissed, but denying Dean the right to see his son born was... harsh.

"Then... three days ago, someone just snatched Ben and Mikey. A friend of our came to get me yesterday..."

"So you're like a... bounty hunter, or something?"

Dean nearly laughed, "Something like that. We... find people. Mostly murderers, sometimes high risk missing kids and stuff like that."

"You get injured in work a lot?"

"Yeah..."

"But you tracked Ben pretty easily?"

"It took a few hours, but we found him and brought him home. I went up to check on him..."

"And he told you?"

"Yeah. He asked me to stay, so I did. This morning I came down to make breakfast and..." Dean paused. He really was not the kind of guy to say this kind of stuff, but he'd gotten this far. "She just... accused me of being a pedophile and raping him..." he stopped and looked away. "I feel guilty as hell. I took advantage of him, but..."

"Dean. Simple math; Ben is seventeen. You're not a pedophile. He seems to adore you. If you'd raped him he wouldn't have been within twenty feet of you. Ben and I aren't really on the same wavelength; we're just too different people, but-"

"You drive electric," Dean said.

"Sorry?"

"You drive electric. He prefers classics."

"He likes cars, uh?"

"Yeah. Cars, loud rock... mythology."

"He really does seem to love his mythology. I don't know what he'd do with it though."

"You'd be surprised. You'd be surprised at how many people live with the illusion of religion, or thinking they are a supernatural creature, or think they're haunted," Dean said, "At least in my line of work," he gave a crooked grin.

Matt chuckled, "I suppose."

Dean sipped is beer, "Lisa has every right to be beyond pissed at me, but I... I don't think I'm the only one in the wrong. And I hate arguing with her. It's all about Ben for me now. It's all about Ben and Mikey." He sighed, "And I don't know how we'll... I just don't know. But for now I just want us to... have some time to settle in."

Matt shook his head, "Agreed. I think that's a good idea."

"I can't believe I'm a dad..."

* * *

><p>Later that day Matt was watching Ben and Dean play on the lawn. Mikey was asleep in his crib in the shade.<p>

They were rolling around on the ground, play fighting. He could hear them laughing. They sounded so happy. Ben straddled Dean, holding him down. It was so obvious that the slim teenager had nothing on Dean's ripped frame, but Dean humoured him.

Matt nearly dropped what he was holding as he saw Ben lean down and kiss Dean square on the lips. He could see Dean was surprised by it. It took a few seconds, but Dean kissed him back, and the kiss deepened.

The kiss lasted a few minutes, but soon melted into a cuddle. Matt felt like he was invading an intimate moment. He fished out his phone, zoomed in and snapped a photo.

* * *

><p>Dean felt a shock of surprise as he felt soft lips on his own. Ben was straddling him, putting light pressure on his groin; short circuiting his brain in a very effective way. Then he remembered to kiss back. It made sparks fly down his spine.<p>

Ben shuddered as Dean licked the roof of his mouth. Dean sat up, wrapping his arms around Ben's waist, deepening the kiss. Ben mewed and buried his hands in Deans hair.

They parted, needing air. Ben looked at Dean, seeing the older man looking up at him with a flushed and slightly dazed expression on his face. "You're so beautiful," Dean whispered.

Ben just buried his face in his neck, and shifted so he could wrap his legs around him, instead of the uncomfortable position of straddling. Dean sighed and gently kissed his neck before resting his cheek on the teens shoulder, thoughts racing in his head.

On one hand, he couldn't remember the last time he'd felt this at peace. But at the same time, he felt he didn't deserve this. Ben was too innocent. Too precious. He just waited for something to ruin it.

It was so confusing.

* * *

><p>Lisa felt a rush of relief as she saw Matt's car in the driveway. Coming into the kitchen, she went straight into Matt's arms.<p>

"Tough day?" Matt asked.

"You could say that," she mumbled. "We have company."

"I noticed," Matt said dryly. "Lisa, we need to talk."

Lisa stiffened, "Matt -"

"Not about us," he assured her, "We're good. I meant about Ben and Dean."

"What's there to talk about?"

"Your ex has a baby with your son, let's start with that," he said with a small smile. "It's a tough nut to swallow, and you haven't really had anyone to talk to..."

"So you know?"

Matt nodded, "Dean told me. He also told me about your fight." Lisa looked like she was about to cry. "As an outsider, I understand how you can feel... betrayed and upset, but try - I know it's a lot to ask, but try to see it from their perspective. Ben... idolises Dean. He loves him. And Dean -"

"Took advantage."

Matt shook his head, "He loves Ben. He really does. He adores the kid."

"Operative word being 'kid'-"

"Ben is not a child, Lisa," Matt sighed, "He's a seventeen year old incredibly strong young man. He was not assaulted, Lisa. I know it's hard to come to grips with, but Dean is Michael's dad, and he is going to be around. Accusing him of being a pedophile and a rapist will only serve to alienate Ben -" he pulled Lisa towards the window, "Does it look like they're anything but happy?"

They hadn't really moved since last he saw them. Dean was laying down in the grass, propped up on his elbow with Ben sitting on top of him. Dean said something that made Ben smile.

_"You're so beautiful." _

Ben leaned down and kissed him again. Deeply this time.

Matt could see tears pooling in Lisa's eyes. "I know you're hurting sweetheart, but as tough as it sounds, you're not the victim here; you're collateral damage. There is no victim in this situation. If there are any it's Dean and Ben; Ben went through his pregnancy and giving birth alone, and Dean missed the growth and birth of his first born..."

Matt hated the Dean had the power to hurt Lisa like this. The guy had been out of her life for over a decade and he could still bring her to tears. But it wasn't about him. Or Dean. It was about Ben and Michael.

"They need time, Lisa, and we have to give it to them." Matt kissed her softly, "And you need time. And we'll give it to you. In the mean time... let's just try to get along."

Lisa just held on to Matt. Tears slipped down her cheeks. Could time fix this?


	10. Holy Conversations

TITLE; Holy Conversations  
>SERIES; 30 Grains of Powder<br>FANDOM; Supernatural  
>CHARACTERS; Castiel, Gabriel<p>

RATING T WIP OR COMPLETE; Complete

WARNINGS. mention of mpreg

DISCLAIMER; Not mine, just playing

Summary; It wasn't random. It wasn't an accident. But that doesn't mean Gabriel, the only angel who understands human culture, agrees with it Castiel, even if he is the new head honcho in Heaven; but it was necessary. For the greater good.

"I don't agree with you Castiel," Gabriel spat, "It was a stupid idea!"

"It had to be done," Castiel replied calmly.

"_Had_to be done?" Gabriel gaped in disbelief, "Ben is legally still a child. What will you do if Dean gets thrown in jail? Or Ben gets killed by one of the demons that's constantly after them?"

"The child will save the world-" Castiel argued.

"_The child_ could have waited until Ben was legal! Until Ben and Dean had the chance to develop something of their own, untainted by your _direct_influence."

Castiel looked away. Doubt was creeping into his mind. Ben had not been born with the rare ability to bare children. While some men naturally had additional organs, they had yet to carry a child. The men who had, had been aided by human technology.

Direct influence indeed...


	11. Love

TITLE; Love  
>SERIES; 30 Grains of Powder<br>FANDOM; Supernatural  
>CHARACTERS; Ben BraedenDean Winchester, Lisa, Casteil, Gabriel

RATING M

WIP OR COMPLETE; Complete

WARNINGS. Slash, mpreg

DISCLAIMER; Not mine, just playing

Summary; It's been nearly six weeks. The new parents succumb to the fire and Lisa and Dean reach some sort of fragile truce.

Dean thought it couldn't get much better. But it could get worse as he is called away on a big assignment. He can't decide whether to stay or leave. If he leaves, he'll save the world, again, but he'd be gone for a long time. If he makes it through at all. If he stays, he'll have a few precious months... before they all die.

.

Review reply; Dean and Sam were in England on a case, Ben was there on a year abroad on a scholarship, international students always have accommodation provided for them, either in form of a dorm/communal living or a "foster" family, depending on the school. They returned to the US after Ben's exams. They live temporarily in New York as Mikey is born, but move back home (the suburban nightmare) as soon as Ben was fit for travel.

I'm perfectly aware of how the age of consent works, so is Dean. And Gabriel. Castiel seems to have forgotten though... it was more to point out that he's not ten years old! *shudders*

.

-'*'-._.-'*'-

'-. _(*)_ .-'

"Ben?" Dean whispered as the teen pushed back against him.

"Dean," Ben muttered, "I need you..." Dean sighed. He was hardening too fast - all his blood rushing form his brain. "Just... feel me," Ben moaned, "please..."

Dean shakily wetted his lips, his hands resting on Ben's hip. "Sure?"

"Dean!" Ben hissed and grabbed his hand and pushed it down the back of his pyjamas.

Dean felt his heartbeat quicken as his hand slipped between Ben's cheeks. He was soaked. Dean frowned, "You planned this?" he whispered, nipping at Ben's neck.

"N-no," Ben whimpered. "It started... after Mikey... whenever I -" he swallowed.

"Got it," Dean said and pressed his fingers against the slick opening. He slipped right though. God. "My bag," he said, "Need condom-" It really wouldn't do for them to have another baby when Mikey was only a few months old. As Ben slipped halfway out of the bed to reach for the bag, Dean pulled his pyjamas off and kicked off his own boxers. He grabbed Ben by his waist and pulled him back up on the bed.

"Here -" Ben panted, his face pink as he handed him the blue foil.

"On your side," Dean ordered and tore the foil with this teeth. A part of his brain screamed a big no-no at him for using his teeth, but he could not be fucked right now. He rolled it on quickly and held Ben close as he pulled his leg over his hip. "Ready?"

"Mhm -" Ben whimpered and clung to him. "Oh -" he gasped as Dean slid into him, stretching him wide open. He sighed happily; it was like scratching a deep itch. Dean's rumbling growl of pleasure made him shiver. "Dean-" he mewed quietly as he felt the tick prick pushing deeply.

Ben couldn't help but arch and spread his legs wider, pushing back with everything he had. Dean growled and pushed Ben over on his stomach without loosing an inch.

He littered light kissed along his shoulder. Ben purred and pushed his back down so his bum came up. Dean grabbed his cheeks and dragged all the way out, relishing in how Ben just didn't seem to want to let go, holding on to him.

Ben curled his fists in the sheets and curled his calves over Dean's thighs, trying hard not to cry out as Dean pumped him firm and deep.

Dean relished in every little squeak Ben was trying to keep quiet every time he bottomed out. He just loved the feeling of his length sliding through the soft slick flesh. He loved invading Ben's body like this. He loved Ben welcoming him deep into his body like this. He loved thinking of the life they had created.

He loved the slick feel of his sweaty skin against his own. He loved the smell of their joined scents.

He loved Ben. And it scared him.

"Dea-n..." Ben whispered. Dean leaned down to kiss his shoulders. He rested his weight on his elbows and intertwined their hands, his front flush with Ben's back. With a rumbling growl Dean surged up, his back bowing, pressing as deep as he could.

Ben's breath hitched as Dean filled him so incredibly deep.

"I love you," Dean whispered, "-so much it makes my heart ache," He pulled away and pulled out, leaving Ben cold and empty. He needed to be closer. "Turn over," he said. Ben did, and Dean pulled him further down the bed by his hips. Dean covered him with his own body and slid back into the warm shelter of Ben's welcoming body. Ben gasped and curled his legs over Dean's hips.

Curling tightly together, clinging to each other like they were each others last lifeline.

Ben felt tears pooling in his eyes as the heat curled in his belly. Dean loved him. He loved him. Dean's rhythm was harder and deeper than Ben could ever remember having felt. The pleasure curled along his spine like fire.

"Ah- " he cried out as Dean hammered his prostate. Dean sealed his mouth with a kiss. He pulled out slightly and pressed the tip of his cock firmly again his wall. "Oh my -" Ben felt Dean press through him, and deeper and... he tore away from the kiss, gasping for air, "God -" His eyes rolled back into his scull.

"Shit -" Dean cursed as Ben clenched around him. He felt the heated sting at the bottom of his spine and it quickly spread through his gut. A part of him lamented the condom trapping his seed; he had an irrational need to mark Ben as his own. He'd set a permanent mark on Ben as he'd carried his first born, but he longed for Ben to carry him within himself, always.

Ben felt Dean swell within him and knew he'd come, but a part of him cried out for him; he wanted to feel him fill him; feel the warm liquid inside him. But those thoughts left him quickly as his body seized and his world went white before it darkened.

Dean smiled fondly down at Ben. He could barely move, but he knew Ben would be very uncomfortable if he stayed like this- not to mention the condom could break. Gently he untangled himself and held on to the condom as he pulled out. Ben mewled quietly. Dean placed a kiss on his brow and got up, "Just need to clean up," he whispered.

Ben didn't answer and Dean wrapped a sheet around his hips and opened the door. He glanced at Mikey in his crib and breathed out a sigh of relief he didn't know he'd been holding to see the little boy was still asleep.

Dean moved quietly towards the bathroom, hoping he wouldn't wake anyone. He knew the walls were less than soundproof and- shit.

Lisa stood awkwardly in front of him. Though probably not as awkward as Dean felt. "Uh..." His hand tightened on the tied condom in his hand and the sheet around his hips.

"You're bleeding," she stuttered.

"What?" He looked down to see a scratch on his arm, "It's nothing-" he felt his face heat up.

Lisa swallowed, looking Dean up and down. He was sweaty and scratched up. She smiled cautiously, "I don't think I've ever seen you blush."

Her words just made Dean go redder, "Well... I - fuck this is awkward."

Lisa let out a pearly little laugh; a sad laugh,"The last year has been awkward Dean..."

"Yeah I guess it has..." he looked away.

The silence was deafening.

"You really love him, don't you?" she asked, sounding almost sad.

Dean swallowed, feeling the fading blush flare up again, "I do..." he looked up at her, "So much it hurts," he added, vaguely echoing his earlier words.

Lisa bit her lip and nodded. "Make sure it stays that way." She set her dark eyes into him. "You broke my heart Dean. I'll live, but you break Ben's heart - again, whatever you've been fighting will be nothing."

Dean almost wanted to laugh. Not because he found it funny, but absurd. But at the same time he didn't doubt her. And he didn't doubt that many people- things, would help her get her revenge.

"Duly noted," he said and shifted awkwardly. "Uh, can I -" he nodded towards the bathroom door.

"What- oh!" Lisa stepped aside quickly, flushing beet red. "Of course."

"Yeah, thanks," he said, giving her an awkward smile and escaped into the bathroom.

Dean dropped the condom in the trash and breathed out harshly. That was nerve wrecking. Just awful.

He reeked of sex, covered in sweat and semen and Lisa was not the breed of naive that wouldn't realise exactly what he'd been doing.

He quickly went about his business before he slipped back to their room. His heart leaped in his chest as he saw Ben dozing on the bed with little Mikey on the mattress beside him.

"He woke," Ben whispered.

"Sorry..." Dean replied and slid in behind him. Ben just sighed and enjoyed that warmth of the body behind him.

Dean loved him. It was all that mattered.

* * *

><p>Dean felt like crying.<p>

Life had been perfect when he woke this morning, but of course, the shoe dropped.

He had to leave.

For the greater -fucking- good. He had to leave his family, his son, his... Ben.

It was a suicide mission. Gabriel had told him that he was nearly guaranteed to die, go to hell. But there was nothing he could do.

It was for Ben. As had been pointed out o helpfully, if he was not around, Ben and Mikey would be safe. Well, safer.

No demon would give two shits about his son if he wasn't around.

"You know I hate this Dean-o, but your kid is the next coming of Christ. Not a lot of people- demons know, but they'll be safer if you're not around. You know that. And we need you in Israel..."

Yeah, they needed him in Israel and had made a deal with Crowley of that Ben and Mikey would be safe from any demonic influence, rouge or otherwise, as long as Lilith was stopped.

The bitch hadn't given up yet...

And they needed Dean to stop Lilith.

Ben was crying. He was curled up in Dean's lap, clutching his shirt. They were out in the garden, protecting the little privacy they had.

Dean knew Lisa, Sam, Gabriel and Castiel were watching them, but he couldn't bring himself to care. He felt the tears starting to slip down his cheeks. He clutched Ben closer to him, hoping some of his innocence would rub off on him, so he could always carry some of him with him.

Only the night before they'd shared and been together in the most intimate ways, and now they'd be torn apart in the most brutal ways.

"Please don't..." Ben whimpered.

"I have to," Dean whispered back. "If Lilith breaks the seal we will all die, Ben. The last time she released Lucifer from hell, this time she'll release every soul from purgatory... those monsters will rip the world apart. The King of Hell and the Hosts of Heaven have put aside their differences and joined forces, but I'm the only one who can stop this for good- or at least for another few thousand years..."

"But you'll die..."

"I might, I probably will, but I've died before Ben, I'm a tough cockroach to squash -" Ben giggled, despite himself. "If I don't do this; we will die. We will all die," he pulled away so he could look Ben in the eyes, "You are the single most important thing in the world to me and I love you and I love Mikey more than life itself -"

"I know," Ben hiccuped. "I know. I know you have to leave, doesn't mean I have to like it..."

Dean just tucked the boy underneath his chin and held on.

* * *

><p>"Let's go-" Dean barked, his voice rough, leather jacket in his hand and his duffel bag over his shoulder.<p>

"Dean," Lisa said, approaching her ex. She could tell he was barely keeping it together.

"Yeah?" he replied gruffly.

"Don't die," she said, "I'll never forgive you if you die and leave Ben and Mikey alone," she said,

"I can live with it, as long as they're alive and safe," Dean replied, his heart breaking as he spoke.

"We have to go," Castiel's gravely voice interrupted them.

Just as they were about to leave, Ben caught Dean by his arm and kissed him deeply.

He refused to believe it would be their last kiss.


	12. Chapter 12

TITLE; Tough Times

SERIES; 30 Grains of Powder

FANDOM; Supernatural

CHARACTERS; Ben Braeden. Dean Winchester  
>RATING T<br>WIP OR COMPLETE; Complete  
>WARNINGS. Slash, mpreg<br>DISCLAIMER; Not mine, just playing

Summary; It's been two years; Dean is dead and even with Gabriel's help Ben struggles to keep himself together. As he starts Uni and moves into his own place he meets a guy that is very much interested in him. Looking to mend his broken heart, Ben, tentatively accepts the other boy's advances. Then hunters comes knocking on his door.

Ben stuffed a bagel in his mouth and picked up Mikey with a flourish. He wasn't late yet.

Mikey giggled as he ran through the garage and Ben couldn't help but laugh along with him. "C'mon Mikey" he said and unlocked the Impala. The two year old crawled into his seat and Ben fastened the seat belt and dived into the drivers seat.

It was the first day of term.

The first day of term at Harvard University.

It still didn't feel real. He couldn't believe he'd gotten in. He'd only applied as a spoof. Hell, he couldn't even afford the tuition fees. That's what he'd thought.

He felt a stab of sadness as he caressed the steering wheel.

"Mama?"

"Yes sweetheart?"

"A' we going to da pwtty place?"

Ben laughed, "Yes, we're going to the pretty place." Mikey had loved the colourful rooms of the nursery, and more than that, he'd thrived under the attention of the nannies.

It only took about two minutes to drive there. Normally he wouldn't drive, but it was Monday, he was late and he'd washed the play clothes that were usually kept there.

"And we're here!" Ben yelled theatrically and leaped out of the car. "Hey Sarah," he called as he unbuckled Mickey from his seat.

"Good morning Ben, you in a hurry?" she asked and picked up the happily squealing two year old.

"Oh god yes," he replied and unlocked the booth. He lifted out the bag with Mikey's things, which was immediately taken off his hands by Sarah.

"Then go, I'll take care of this ray of sunshine."

"Thank you," Ben said and kissed Mikey's cheek. "I love you," he said "And I'll come and pick you up at dinner time, okay?"

"Okay mama," Mikey smiled and waved.

Ben felt his heart twinge as he drove away, towards the campus. He hated leaving Mikey. He'd had Gabriel demon-proof and other-nasty-stuff-proof the nursery. Ben was nothing if not a nervous wreck when it came to keeping his son safe.

Oh, he wasn't too fussed about skinned knees and rough tumbles- he was a boy after all, but he bathed the boy in holy water, they both drank it and their flat was like Fort Knox. Call him paranoid, but he was a Winchester; he had reason to be.

Oh yeah, he was a Winchester. Ben Braeden Winchester.

He parked his car, ignoring the many admiring looks he got from other students, grabbed his bag and made a run for it.

He'd struggled to make ends meet when he'd first moved to Boston when he was accepted to the university. He'd worked several jobs and he'd been guilt ridden for not spending enough time with Mikey. Then Gabriel had turned up.

_flashback_

_Ben pulled the door open to reveal the archangel, "Gabriel," he breathed, "Dean -" _

_"I'm sorry," Gabriel said, "But Dean is gone. He's been gone for a while. I'm sorry I didn't come sooner, but we've been trying to get him back -" _

_The rest of the words disappeared in white noise as Ben tried to register when Gabriel had said. _

_"He wanted you to have this," he said and handed him Dean's leather jacket and an antique wooden box. "I'll be back in a couple of days... Heaven is in a bit of a riot... can't leave 'em for a second," he joked weakly. "I'll help you through this," Gabriel said seriously. "Dean was a great man, he made sure you would be taken care of." _

_Ben just sank to the floor as the archangel flew away. _

_end flashback. _

Dean had left him well taken care of. In the box had been Deans Last Testament, leaving everything for Ben, even his car.

Thirty years of being a hunter and a con-artist had left Dean quite well off. Not that he ever used the money. It was traceable. He had saved it for the day he would be able to retire. Ben had a suspicion Gabriel had 'helped out' with making some clever investments.

Off-shore accounts, ancient artefacts, weaponry, books, oh, hundreds of books on the supernatural; books Bobby only had copies of. Gabriel definitely helped out on that one. It made Ben slightly suspicious; Gabriel wasn't usually the helpful type.

And an apartment.

Gabriel actually admitted that he'd helped Dean out with that one. Dean had told him to help Ben get a decent place to live; the apartment Ben first moved into was a shithole. The new place was amazing. It wasn't as much an apartment as a penthouse, a massive penthouse. It had already been decorated to a certain degree; furniture, pictures, bed sheets, toys, necessary baby-stuff and clothes. Clothes; Gabriel had gotten them clothes. Expensive clothes.

Clothes that stretched comfortably as he ran through the halls, praying his Director of Studies had not left yet.

The archangel had really done a number on the place; besides supernatural-proofing the place, the flat and everything in it was indestructible. Nothing could be broken and given the amount a valuable and/or useful things Dean had left him, it was a blessing, pardon the pun. The laundry did itself, the dishes did themselves. He'd hired a maid to come every other week because apparently he could only cloak so much of his own magic.

Ben felt like he was living a dream. A dream that would _be_ hisdream, if only Dean were with them. He had a feeling that Gabriel was suffering a guilty conscience.

He gone through the trouble of altering the records to say he'd been emancipated at sixteen, and that he and Dean had married before he'd left. Before he'd been killed. He even had a wedding band; A duplicate of Dean's ring. He wore it on his left hand. He wore Dean's ring on the pendant Dean had always worn; the one that glowed warm when God was near.

He'd even created pictures from their six weeks together. Lovely pictures.

He'd cried for days.

"Dr. Sabo -" he gasped as he rounded the corner to his office, "I am so sorry -" he forced out between gasps of air.

Dr. Sabo observed the young man that just stumbled into his office. They had never met previously, but Dr. Sabo knew all about the teenager in front of him. A very interesting teenager. A very interesting teenager that had top marks despite everything he'd been through.

Emancipated, granted a scholarship and pregnant at sixteen.

Top grades at his exams on his year abroad.

Given birth and married at seventeen.

And here comes the interesting bit; The husband was 34 year old Dean Winchester.

Widowed at the age of seventeen, after eight months of marriage. The body had never been recovered, but apparently Dean Winchester had fallen into a sacred crater in Israel.

More interestingly, Dean Winchester was wanted by the FBI, listed as armed and highly dangerous.

"No worries, Mr. Winchester, we still have twenty minutes before your first lecture," he said with a smile. He glanced at the boy over the rim of his glasses and beckoned him to sit. "Have you given any thought to which subjects you would like to take?

"Uh-"

"May I suggest Greek Mythology, Greek, Latin -"

"Actually I want to do Oriental Mythology," Ben cut him off, "I'm not 'outlearned' in Greek Mythology or Latin, but I know enough to know I like the Oriental stuff better."

"Hm, interesting... how did you come by oriental mythology? It is quite unusual..."

"Dean taught me about it..." Ben smiled, "-he was the one who got me into mythology. He knows so much, he's got so many books, and he knows all the languages-" Ben stopped himself as the words left his lips, "knew," he corrected himself, "he knew everything I ever asked him. If he didn't know he'd have some old dusty book on it in some obscure language... I learned a lot more from him than anyone else..."

Dr. Sabo nodded thoughtfully, "You miss him dearly..." it was a statement rather than a question.

Ben seemed to deflate before his eyes, "Yeah, I do."

The old man nodded thoughtfully, "I for one am grateful; it is not often I have students in my office who know their subject beyond hobby-level interest; the paper you wrote on Changelings was very interesting," he said and made a few notes, "Would I be assuming correctly to think you would like to sit in on several classes before you make your final decisions?"

"Yes please."

"I'm also aware that your choice of subject will be affected by their scheduled hour; you have a little boy."

"Yes, sir,"

"There is an evening-care on the grounds," Dr. Sabo said, "Should it be necessary."

"I know," Ben nodded, "But he'll be spending almost every day, all day, in day-care, I just don't think it will be good for him..."

Dr. Sabo nodded, agreeing. "A fair point; family comes first. Because of your situation, things will be a bit different; as per usual, students have one Director of Studies, one Tutor, looking after your personal welfare and one student tutor for each class... In your case, I will function as both DoS and Tutor which means if you have any queries, I will be your go-to man, your 'tutors' in your subjects will be your professors; they will have far more flexible schedules -"

"I don't want to cause any trouble -" Ben said, flustered.

"Oh not to worry, us old folk need you young folk to keep us on our toes," he joked. He took off his glasses and sighed, "Mr. Winchester, I apologise if I am overstepping my bounds, but you have not had an easy time of it the past few years, and I fear Harvard will not make it much easier; you will have very little time for yourself, between your studies and your son. I am here to make your life here go as smoothly as possible, and for once I am more than adequately motivated to do so. Your professors have been informed that your home situation is somewhat fragile, and to make allowances in regards to arranging the time and place of your supervisions-" he saw Ben open his mouth to protest, "This is not an arrangement exclusive to yourself, young man, and I suggest you take the help you are offered."

"Yes sir," Ben replied. While he hated being given extra privileges, he knew he would need them.

"Now," Dr. Sabo rummages though some papers, "This is the schedule for the lectures, I urge you to chose no more than six subjects and remind you that lectures are open and you are allowed to attend and participate in the others regardless. Just remember you will not be a prioritised student in the subjects you do not formally attend," he said and handed Ben the schedule, "Best of luck and I will see you at the end of the week."

"Thank you Dr. Sabo," Ben said and picked up his bag. "Will see you later then," he smiled.

"Hey fresher!" someone shouted in the corridor. Ben was deeply involved in an argument with himself over which subjects to chose and ignored the shout, assuming it was for someone else.

"Yo fresher -" someone grabbed his arm and Bed reacted reflexively , grabbing the offending hand and twisting the wrist. "Ah- hey man -"

Ben dropped the hand, "Sorry," he said, deadpanned, "I'm not used to people grabbing me." A boy in front of him was tall and dark haired.

"No problem dude. Look, you look like a cool guy and we've got a party at our house tonight to get to know the freshers -"

"No thanks," Ben said and turned to walk on, "I'm busy."

"C'mon, it's the first day; you don't have anything to do yet - I'm Chris, by the way. Chris Kingsley," he said and offered his hand with an almost comically charming grin.

"Ben Winchester," Ben replied and took his hand.

"So what do you say, wanna party with us?"

"Look, I'm not blowing you off, I really don't have time -"

"How about this weekend then?"

"Anytime between 9am-4pm, I've got time. I've just moved here and I've still got a shitload of stuff to get sorted -"

"Alright, alright, fair. I remember what it's like. So which dorm are you in?"

"I've got a flat..."

"Ah, cool. Well, since you can't party with us, join us for lunch!"

Ben hesitated. Chris looked like a jock. A soccer player to be more exact; fit, lean, but not burly enough for the football field. Someone Ben would have put in proper effort to avoid in high school. But this was university; these guys were adults. Not to mention, they were at Harvard; they were smart. "Alright..." he replied.

"Cool," Chris said and rubbed his wrist, "C'mon, I'll introduce you to the guys."

"Uh, I was gonna get a look around the lecture halls -" Ben mumbled as the older guy dragged him to the cafe.

"Don't worry, I'll take you afterwards," Chris said as he waved to a group of guys sitting at the corner table in the sofas. "So, this is Max, Tommy, Eddie Brians, Ed Palacios and Ed Thornton, Jason, Rob, James and Mike. Guys, Ben Winchester, fresher - what subject do you do?" Chris asked.

"Theology," Ben said and sat down. "Haven't decided classes yet though."

Jason snorted, "You're a geek then -"

Rob smacked him, "Sorry, Jason is our resident gear-head-" he said and nudged the pizza box towards the teen.

Ben just shook his head, "No worries about it, bit of a gear-head myself..." he said and took piece. He was quite hungry.

"Really?" Jason asked, obviously not believing him, "What kind of cars do you like?"

"Classics."

"Anything in particular?"

"Chevy Impala."

"Year?"

"'67"

Jason paused. He shifted, "Good car, proper classic, you ever driven one?"

"I own one," Ben said proudly, "Black."

"Original engine?"

"Unfortunately not; it got totalled a few years back to it had to be rebuilt."

"But with the 67' range parts?"

"Of course!" Ben replied with horror on his face, "Anything also would be blasphemy!"

Jason smiled and looked at his mates, "I like him."

Chris snorted, "Yeah, Jason, I figured... Max, the Ed's and I play soccer, Rob and Jason play football, James plays tennis..."

"Not to big on the sports myself," Ben said, "I played baseball and football, but I kept getting into trouble so my mom made me do martial arts..."

"What kind?"

"Mixed - just the most efficient bits of different branches." Not to mention weaponry and using guns. Dean had started teaching him, then Gabriel had taken it upon himself to teach him a couple of hours a week after he left. While his technique was good, he just wasn't that strong. He could take care of himself against the normal human, anything else, he knew just to run for it.

Ben shifted awkwardly. He felt like he was being interviewed.

"So, where do you live?" Chris asked, "You said you have a flat?"

"Uh, about fifteen minutes south," Ben said.

"The city? That's pretty posh? Your parent pay up for their precious baby-boy?" Max teased.

"No, it's my own," Ben said. "It's been nice meeting you all, but I've got lectures -" he said and got up.

"I'll take you," Chris said and got up. Ben frowned as the guys smirked. He shook his head and started to make his way out of the cafe.

Chris glared at his mates before he jogged after Ben, "So where are you going?"

"Gordon LB"

"Ah, that's down here," he said and made a turn. The lecture hall was only a short walk away. "Look, in case you change your mind," he said and gave him a piece of paper. "Or your plans change."

Ben looked at the paper; it was an address. "Thanks," he said, not bothering to argue. He was just trying to be nice.

"Yeah... bye," Chris said. "I guess I'll see you around. Lunch tomorrow maybe?"

"Yeah, maybe," Ben replied. "Bye,"

At the end of the day, Ben was exhausted. He'd been to five lectures, and they were all incredibly interesting. Except Greek Mythology, but he supposed he'd keep up with it just in case.

"Hey there," he heard a vaguely familiar voice. He looked up to see Jason by his car. "You weren't joking when you said you had one."

"Why should I?" he asked and unlocked the car.

"I just wanted to apologise- for all of us." Jason said.

"Why?"

"Cause we weren't being very welcoming," he said.

Ben paused to look at the older guy; he was big, buff, shaven head and a friendly demeanour.

"I've had worse..."

"It was just so obvious that Chris likes you, so we just had to make him uncomfortable." Ben shot him a look. "I mean, _likes _likes you."

"I realised..." Ben commented dryly.

"You don't sound very interested. Don't swing that way?"

Ben sighed, "I'm sure he's a great guy, but -"

"You're already seeing someone? You don't swing that way?"

"No, I... sort of..."

"Sort of how?"

Ben shook his head and got into his car, "I appreciate the apology -"

"Will you give him a chance? He really likes you."

Ben sighed, "I'll think about it." But he wouldn't. His heart was still aching for Dean.

Weeks passed and lunch with the guys became sort of a regular thing. Ben had managed to pick his subjects and very reluctantly, managed to stick to only seven. Though one of the subjects was Latin, so he supposed it didn't really count.

Chris had not given up.

Ben was somewhat flattered by the attention, but his heart was still sore from the loss of Dean. Mikey was growing up to be the splitting image of his father, and Ben suffered for it. But Chris was definitely a strong presence in his life now. As a friend. Maybe something more? Ben knew he needed to heal, maybe Chris was what could help him do just that?

"I don't know why you don't go to the party," Gabriel said, "They've invited you every week, they're a blast. I'll baby sit little Mikey, you have the night off. You get to have some fun, I get to spend time with my god-son, win-win! And you'll leave after he's fallen asleep, so he wont know you're gone; no guilt!"

Ben hesitated. Gabriel had been trying to get him to go to the parties for ages. And Ben really felt like some time off. It wasn't like he'd do any work tonight anyway.

"Fine..." he grumbled, "I'll go, but only if you promise to call if something happens! And if he has a nightmare, and -"

"Benji, you've got a several eons old archangel babysitting for you; trust me when I say nothing will get to your little gem, m'kay. I'll even get him to day-care in the morning if you're too struck out." Gabriel said giving the young man the eye.

Ben exhaled harshly, "You're right, I'm just -"

"Nervous? You're a momma, of course you're nervous. Now go!"

Ben woke with the feeling of a jackhammer going off inside his head. And a heavy arm wrapped around his waist.

Oh crap... Ben thought. The last time this happened, Mikey happened.

But he was dressed. Where it counted, anyhow...

"Ahmahgahd..." he groaned and tried to sit up.

"Hey baby," Chris mumble sleepily behind him.

Ben ignored him and grabbed his phone from the night stand and called Gabriel. "Gabriel -"

_"Everything is fine kiddo. He's in day-care. Happy like a sunbeam." _

"Oh, thank you," Ben sighed in relief.

"_Don't thank me yet. You've got two fellas waiting for you; they want to talk about Dean. Do bring a friend. I'll float about, but I'd rather they didn't know about me..." _

_"_Who are they?"

_"Didn't ask. But I got Mikey out before they saw him, and his stuff tidied away. You might want to get home before they start snooping about though. There is a lot there many a hunter/goldigger would give an arm to get his hands on, pun very much intended."_

"Thanks Gabriel, I owe you one."

_"No you don't kiddo. See ya around. Gimme a prayer if you need me to take care of the little troll." _

"I will do. Thank you," Ben sighed gratefully and hung up. "I need to get home," he said and looked about the room. "Where is my sweater?"

"Probably in the pool room."

"Billiards," Ben corrected automatically and laced up his shoes.

"Hey -" Chris caught his hand, "Stay for breakfast."

Ben paused, thinking about what Gabriel has said, "Join me for breakfast."

The smile that spread of Chris' face was blinding, "I'd love to," he said and got up.

"You might have to drive, though," Ben said; he really was feeling like five kinds of crap.

"No problem," Chris laughed.

It was twenty minutes later they pulled into the sub-level garage. Chris whistled, "This is a pretty posh place. How'd you afford it?"

Ben bit his lip, "Chris, I..."

"No, I get it," the smile dropped from his face, "Don't ask, don't tell. You're a mystery..." he said and killed the engine.

"Chris... you just don't know what you're getting yourself into... I have a lot of baggage."

"Well..." Chris sighed, "I'm never gonna know unless you tell me."

Ben bit his lip. "I..." he shook his head, "I'm widowed, that's how I can afford this place. My husband left it for me. I think... he knew he was going to die, so he got me this place, cause he knew I'd never use his money to get myself something like this...well, I think Gabriel sorted it out for him..." he trailed off.

Chris gaped at him, "Oh... damn..." he swallowed, "I'm sorry..." he whispered.

"There is more..." Ben whispered. "The thing is... Dean was kind of a... bounty hunter, of sorts. He had a lot of enemies. "We have a son. He's two... I mean, I've already been kidnapped... three times..." he looked away. "So I'm a bit paranoid about who I tell about him..."

"Wow... yeah, I'd be paranoid as well... so... when did all this happen?"

"I'm not quite sure. Gabriel said he was pushed into a crater in Israel. Never found the body, just lots and lots of blood... But hey, he faked his death a few timed before..."

"You think he faked it this time as well?"

Ben shook his head, "He always told me... and it's been a year... over a year. And he never... put his ducks in a row before. So he's... dead."

Chris nodded, "I'm sorry for pushing so hard, I didn't realise -"

"No," Ben said, "You've been good for me. You've... reminded me that there is a world outside the lecture halls and Mikey's nursery. If It weren't for you I'd still be a depressed antisocial -"

"Hey none of that!" Chris exclaimed, "I like that depressed antisocial guy!"

Ben laughed. "I guess," he said.

"So.. am I getting to meet your son?" Chris asked.

Ben gaped at him, "You mean you're... not running for the hills?"

Chris shook his head, "Nope. I mean, it's unexpected, but I like you. And I'm still kinda hungry," he added sheepishly.

"Guess I'm making you breakfast then," Ben said, relieved. He hadn't realised how much Chris acceptance had meant to him. He'd become a friend.

They got out of the car and caught the lift up to the lobby, "I've just got to get my mail," Ben said as he stepped out. "Hey Sarah," he smiled at the receptionist.

"Good Morning Ben. Gabriel flew out of here with Mikey a few hours ago, and you have company. Official looking chaps," she said as she handed him his letters. "You have a good evening?"

"Thank you," Ben glanced over his shoulder at Chris and smiled, "and yes, I did." He laughed as she winked at him. "Who let my visitors in?"

"Dave, I'm afraid," she said with a regretful face. "Oh yeah, the FBI were here a while ago, said they'd come back in a bit."

"Just send them up when they get here," Ben replied. "Bye."

"Bye-bye."

"She was charming," Chris said as Ben got back into the lift.

"She's very nice," Ben agreed and put the key into the keyhole and pressed an invisible button above the rest.

"Penthouse?"

"Yup..."

They stood silently as the lift soundlessly flew towards the sky.

Finally they stopped and the doors opened to reveal a small hallway and an oak door. A white oak door soaked in holy water. The walls were covered in miniature sigils and enochian symbolds- and a devil's trap. The lighting was dim, so they were impossible for the naked human eye to see. Nothing supernatural that hadn't been keyed into the wards was getting through those doors

As he opened the door, Ben heard voices further in the flat. He grabbed what looked like an umbrella with a katana handle. Chris gaped as it turned out to be a katana with an umbrella sheath.

The apartment itself was stunning; the left side consisted of wall sized windows and the furniture was oiled cherry wood and heavy leather furniture. The floors were dark cherry wood as well, but covered in patches of what looked like large black yoga mats. Probably for the baby, he thought. The walls were lined with photos and candle stands. There was some ivy climbing along the upper end of the wall and the roof, but otherwise no plants or flowers. There was a stereo and a large flat screen tv and every wall were at least partially covered with what seemed like hundreds of books.

And everything was gleaming clean.

Bed walked soundlessly into the apartment. When Chris caught up with him, he had the sword to a man's neck. A big guy in a black suit.

"Who are you?" Ben asked calmly.

"FBI, my partner's in the bedroom."

"Badge, slowly," he warned.

The man slowly pulled out an FBI ID badge. Ben took it and looked it over. It looked real, but he knew better. He fished out his phone and rang the number on the badge.

_"Langley, Dan Harper speaking." _

Ben hung up as soon as he heard the familiar voice of Bobby Singer speaking. "Try again," he said and pressed the blade tighter.

"I'm FBI! You called -"

"And I got Bobby Singer," Ben cut him off. "Third time's the charm or your head goes."

"Oh please, a little kid like you -"

"A little kid I might be, but I'm a Winchester, and the blood runs true." And he'd spent two years with Gabriel. Two years without Dean. A year struggling to make ends meet before Dean died, leaving him everything he owned. It had left him tougher; becoming a parent had made him tougher; he had someone to protect.

"I'm looking for Dean!"

"What for?"

"We need his help with a case. Bobby is over-loaded and we knew Dean or Sam would be our go-to guy... didn't know his place was this fly though..."

"How'd you get my address?"

"Sam. We stole it from Sam Winchester. Said he was out of the business. Said he couldn't help. "

Ben sighed and dropped the blade. "You're fucking stupid to come here without Bobby's green light."

"Walter Greene," the man said and offered his hand.

"Ben Winchester."

"You one of John's boys? I thought it was just Sam and Dean... and that other bastard kid..." he tugged at his collar. "Dave, get out here!" he called.

Another man in a black suit walked in, "I can't find squat that would be helpful... sorry for looking through your stuff by the way."

Ben rolled his eyes. "You won't find Dean here," he said. "Chris, these guys are apparently colleagues of Dean's."

"Ah, nice to meet ya..." Chris said awkwardly and sat down on the leather couch.

"So where is Dean?"

"You can have a look in Hell..." Ben suggested.

Water gaped, "Again? I mean... _again?" _

"Yeah, again, for good this time," Ben said, "Chris, would you mind getting some food in the kitchen? I've just gotta sort this out."

"Yeah, no problem," Chris said, looking grateful to get out of the room.

"How long has Dean been dead, and who are you?"

"Dean got killed sealing the final seal into Hell over a year ago..."

"So it's true. The seals are shut?"

"Yeah. The seals are shut; everything is back to it's shitty normal self, minus Dean..."

Dave shook his head, "Dean was the best of us. I mean, John was a legend, and Sam is pretty well known but Dean faced the Devil himself and lived to tell the tale. He runs with angels and... he's a true legend."

"Yeah..." Ben said and looked away, blinking away the tears.

"So... you and Dean were close?" he asked, gesturing to the black and white pictures on the wall.

"We were married," Ben said.

"At least the name lives on..."

"His blood as well," Ben said, "We have a son."

Dave and Walter were surprised, but seemed relieved, "As long as there is a Winchester around, the world is one thumb up on the apocalypse."

Ben nodded, "Yeah. But he's two years old," he scowled, "He's got a while before he starts filling his father's shoes. So what's this case of yours?"

"You won't believe us..."

An hour later they came out of the study, "It's good to know the next generation are as capable as the old one," Dave said, "I bet Dean and Bobby are like preening hens over you."

Ben blushed, "I do what I can. I don't have it in me for hunting, unless its necessary, but I know my stuff- in theory."

"That you do."

"Keep in touch, let me know if you need anything and if the info is good."

"Can we have your number? I suppose it would be easier for us to call than break into your place... this place is like Fort Knox by the way, good work."

"I had some help," Ben said dryly as he programmed his number into Dave's phone.

"Do you mind if we give your number to other hunters?" Walter asked. "Bobby-approved hunters, of course. Sam and Dean were his primaries, but now that they're out of the game, activity on the rise... he's got too much to do."

Ben hesitated slightly before he nodded, "Sure, but be sure that they know I have a life outside hunting, I'm still studying. If I don't pick up, I'll call back; lectures and stuff... y'know."

"We will do. Thanks... you may not be a Winchester by blood, but you carry it well."

Ben nodded, "Thank you," he said as he let them out.

"So..." Chris said from behind him. Ben turned around. "Hunters, you say. What exactly do they hunt?"

"Whatever they need to," Ben replied. "Have you eaten?"

The case they had brought wasn't actually all that tough. A wendigo gone rouge. They were obviously salt n' burn hunters, and who could blame them; wendigos were native to India. Ben had no idea why they were in the US, but they seemed to be popping up in various places.

"No, I was just reading one of your books. Interesting stuff," he said. "So does this stuff happen a lot?"

"Not since Dean died- and no one save Gabriel and Cas dared break in when he was home..."

"You make him sound like he was a marine or something."

"Or something."

"He doesn't look it though," Chris said and nodded towards a photo, "Should have been on the cover of a magazine."

"Yeah, he always was deceptively pretty." Ben chuckled, "But he had so many bullet holes in him. Every time he came home he was bleeding somewhere..." he said and handed him a cup of coffee.

"It must have been scary..."

Ben laughed, "Scary? You should see the armoury." The truth was, the entire flat was an armoury. There were so many guns, swords, throwing stars and other weapons hidden in the decor it made Mr & Mrs Smith green with envy. After Dean died, Gabriel had brought everything there. One great big vault in stead of the storage containers in random places.

Chris laughed nervously, "Now I know why you never got time to party..."

"Yeah..." Ben cracked some eggs, tossed some corn, basil, oregano and cheese along with a glass of milk into a buttered pan and turned the plate on. "By the way... there might be some real FBI agents up in a bit..." he said nervously.

"Really?" Chris asked, peering over the rim of the big mug.

"Yeah, I'm really sorry. I really didn't know my door would be run down like this today..."

"No, it's fine," Chris said.

"I just... I really like you Chris, but with everything -" Ben saw Chris deflating, "I'm not blowing you off!" he exclaimed, feeling a little frustrated, then he smiled, amused. "With everything being... well, everything, I can tell you right now, it's gonna take a lot of time for me to be able to..." he waved his hands, trying to find the right words, "-commit. It's taken me a long time to get where I am and with Mikey..."

"I get it," Chris said, "and to be honest, my head spinning a bit with all of this. But I know that I like you. I like you a lot. I get that anything that... has to potential of happening will take time. If I had a kid I wouldn't introduce him to someone I didn't know if it would work out with..."

Ben nodded, relieved that Chris at least appeared to understand.

"So lets continue to be friends... and maybe keep the potential of something more in the back of our minds?"

Ben nodded, "I'd like that," he said. "I -" he was interrupted by the doorbell. Ben sighed, "that would be them..."

Chris nodded, "Do you want me to leave?"

"No," Ben said, "I promised you breakfast... I dunno if they're real FBI agents this time or not... so just..."

"Stay out of it?"

"Well, if they're real, we'll have coffee in here," Ben decided. "If not, it's hunter-stuff."

Ben went to open the door and was faced with to very FBI looking FBI agents.

"Mr. Winchester," the taller one greeted, "May be enter?"

"Do you have credentials?" Ben asked.

"Yes we do, apologies," they said and offered their badges.

Ben accepted them and looked them over. Unfortunately, they looked very, very real. Again, he fished out his phone and called the number on the bottom. A smooth, almost nasal voice answered, _"Daniel Harper speaking."_

"Hello, I'm calling to verify two of your agents..." He glanced at the badges. "Martin Sniper and Tran Donnoly."

_"Yes, they are agents within this firm, issued in Boston currently." _

"Yeah, okay, thank you," Ben replied and hung up, "C'mon in," he offered and opened the door.

"Nice place," The shorter one, Donnoly said. "How did you afford it?"

"Smooth," Ben muttered. Definetly not hunters. "I think you know how," he said and guided them to the kitchen. "Coffee?"

"Yes please," Sniper said, "May I," he asked, gesturing to the seat next to Chris.

"Chris Kingsley," Chris offered and shook their hands.

"So, what do I owe the pleasure?" Ben asked and sat down after having taken the eggs off the oven.

"We are here to inquire about the whereabouts of one Dean Winchester, I believe you are related," Donnoly asked.

Ben arched a brow, "You must be new," he stated.

Donnoly flushed, "Uh."

"No, we are not _related. _We were married," Ben clarified.

"Um, my papers state that Dean had a son..."

"Yeah, we have a son, he's two."

"Oh, well, I apologise for the mix up. Do you know where Dean is?"

"Have you tried looking in Hell?" Ben asked innocently.

Sniper chuckled, "I'm serious, Mr. Winchester, may I call you Ben?"

"No, you _may _not. And who said I was joking. Dean died over a year ago," he said, holding Snipers eyes defiantly for a few seconds before he looked away.

"Well, as his husband, you might well know he has faked his death successfully _numerous times. _I would not put it past him to do it again. We even had a body identical to his in our freezer, only for him to turn up three months later_ raising_ hell _again._ Do you understand our concern?" Sniper asked. His eyes flickered to the pictures on the walls. "You look very happy together."

"We were," Ben replied, his voice rough. He wrapped his arms around himself, not liking the way they interrogated him.

"I hope you understand that Dean Winchester was a psychopath. All of this -" he waved around, gesturing to the photos, "Was fake."

"Now wait a minute," Chris interrupted, "You are so fucking far out of line -"

"I have seen what this man is capable of -" Donnoly cut him off.

"No, you have seen what Dean is capable off when he's cornered and you're trying to kill him," Ben snapped, "You don't know _Dean; _Dean liked classic cars, he was the best mechanic around. He liked pancakes and asian food, he _loved _burger as if they were holy and even though he'd never admit it, his coffee with milk and a shot of vanilla,"

"He also favoured a sawed off Winchester rifle, machete and lighter fluid." Sniper replied coldly.

"I'm sorry, do you want to see the armoury," Ben asked sarcastically.

"If you could show us Dean's possessions, we would be grateful. It would help us expand his profile."

"Sure..." Ben stood up and the agents followed without a word. He pushed open a door the led to the study. "This is where I keep most of it; books mostly... he didn't really keep a lot of stuff."

"Clothes, personal items, weapons?"

"Nothing unless you count the swords," Ben said and gestured to the bookshelves where they hung on hooks on the supporting beams.

"How the fuck could Dean Winchester afford something like this?"

Ben was grateful Chris had stayed in the kitchen, so he could speak a bit freer. "I know you don't think much of him, but Dean did a lot of good, he helped a lot of people. He was the best. He could find a needle in a stack of needles. Any killer, kidnapper, artefact, information, whatever, he could track down and take down; thats what he did. People pay good money to feel safe. Parents pay a lot of money to have their kids returned to them. I should know, but he never let my mother pay him a dime..."

"So that's how you met; you were kidnapped?"

"There was a woman in our neighbourhood that was poisoning the children. She started doing the same to me. One night she locked us all in a cellar to be sacrificed to some goddess... he tried talking to her, tried knocking her down... he put a bullet in her scull and she _still _got back up. In the end he cut off her head..."

The agents looked at him with odd expressions on their faces.

"Just after Mikey was born, we were kidnapped to get Dean's attention. They said they were ecstatic they finally found something they could pin him down with; they were gonna make him watch as they killed us. Mikey first, then me. My mom doesn't like Dean much..."

"I wonder why..."

"They dated for a bit, back when I was six," Ben said, "She called the cops and they spent three days searching for us, but found squat. She called Dean, he found us in _six hours_. That's how good he is," Ben smiled sadly, "I suppose I should be grateful; he stayed home for two months. That time, when he got called away, was the last time I saw him. Two years ago," he paused and cleared his voice, "A colleague came and said he'd died..."

"How did he die?"

"He fell into a crater in Israel," Ben noticed his hands were shaking and sat down on his desk, arms crossed over his chest.

Sniper's phone rang, "I'm sorry, I have to take this," he said and stepped into the hallway.

Donnoly glanced after his supervisor before he spoke, "So you really loved this freak?" Ben just scowled at him. "I mean, I've seen his interrogation tapes; he's nuts. You have to admit; all the mystic crap he's sprouting; it's not sane."

"Dean loved to take the piss," Ben said.

The silence became oppressing and Ben refused to back down. When Sniper came back in, he looked slightly ruffled, but somehow pleased, and a bit confused. "Mr. Winchester, there has been a change in the case regarding your husband."

Ben looked up, curious as he couldn't think of anything that could change.

"Dean Winchester has been taken into custody."

TBC

* * *

><p>AN My laptop ius stiull fiucjkedm, as yoiu can see. IUm, not jkiuddiungm, thius ius how iut types now. IUve been typiung stiuff iup on m,y tabletm, whoch ius a paiunm, biut at least iuts som,ethiung. IUf yoiu bothered to read thiusm, yoiu are a dediucated readerm, and IU thanjk yoiu!''


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